July 4th, 2011 - Darn Sugar!!!

Happy July 4th everyone!!! I LOVE this holiday! I have learned so much about myself this weekend in celebrating. I had bought a colossal cookie to take to the July 4th celebration at Lynn and Larry's Saturday....that stupid cookie has haunted me all weekend!!! There was very little of it taken at the get together, so I had to bring it home......that thing haunted me till I got home at 11:30 that night and HAD to eat some...then I was sick for over an hour till I finally fell off to sleep! I have decided that I am NOT safe with even a "little bit" of sugar! I just cannot handle having a little bit....one little bit becomes the desire for two little bits, two little bits becomes the desire for three little bits.....well, you get the picture! Anyway....I have discovered this weekend that I am just going to have to go back to the basics and completely avoid sugar altogether!!! I have discovered that if I have sugar in small doses I don't get sick....unfortunately as I proved to myself this weekend....I can't handle small doses...even with getting sick...it just doesn't stop me!!! I had a discussion with myself yesterday and came to the realization that I needed to decide if I was going to accept what I had permanently done by having this surgery and allow it to do for me what I went into it expecting it to do.......OR.....if I was going to buck the system I have created in my stomach and let it fail in the end!!! WOAHHH!!!! Thus the HEAD GAME!!!! Clearly as I have said many times before, they didn't fix my head, they fixed my stomach. Anyway I have decided that perhaps the reason for my LONG stall might be that I have been sabotaging myself! Okay, so as of yesterday I decided to go back to the basic of cutting out the sugar completely, and the original basics of this program of ingesting nothing that has more than 3 grams of sugar in it...Let's see what happens!