Monday, July 4, 2011
July 4th, 2011 - Darn Sugar!!!
Happy July 4th everyone!!! I LOVE this holiday! I have learned so much about myself this weekend in celebrating. I had bought a colossal cookie to take to the July 4th celebration at Lynn and Larry's Saturday....that stupid cookie has haunted me all weekend!!! There was very little of it taken at the get together, so I had to bring it home......that thing haunted me till I got home at 11:30 that night and HAD to eat some...then I was sick for over an hour till I finally fell off to sleep! I have decided that I am NOT safe with even a "little bit" of sugar! I just cannot handle having a little bit....one little bit becomes the desire for two little bits, two little bits becomes the desire for three little bits.....well, you get the picture! Anyway....I have discovered this weekend that I am just going to have to go back to the basics and completely avoid sugar altogether!!! I have discovered that if I have sugar in small doses I don't get sick....unfortunately as I proved to myself this weekend....I can't handle small doses...even with getting sick...it just doesn't stop me!!! I had a discussion with myself yesterday and came to the realization that I needed to decide if I was going to accept what I had permanently done by having this surgery and allow it to do for me what I went into it expecting it to do.......OR.....if I was going to buck the system I have created in my stomach and let it fail in the end!!! WOAHHH!!!! Thus the HEAD GAME!!!! Clearly as I have said many times before, they didn't fix my head, they fixed my stomach. Anyway I have decided that perhaps the reason for my LONG stall might be that I have been sabotaging myself! Okay, so as of yesterday I decided to go back to the basic of cutting out the sugar completely, and the original basics of this program of ingesting nothing that has more than 3 grams of sugar in it...Let's see what happens!
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
June 28, 2011
Well, I decided it's time for a new attitude so I decided to update the look of my blogger and reflect the changes that I'm making to try to get this jouney completed! I have increased my protein intake, decided to cut back to half pot of coffee (instead of a whole pot), I'm cutting out my Greek yogurt because of the sugar content, trying to eat slower (which is sooooo....diffficult for me), and add water to my daily routine.........if all this doesn't get things moving.........I have NO IDEA WHAT ELSE TO DO!!! I figure if I do all this, the only left for me is to "wait", which those of you who know me....know that's a difficult thing for me to do!
It just occurred to me that today is really a great day to mark my changes...it was 21 years ago today that I had my last conversation with my mother before she passed away. I remember going to see her that evening and it was just me and her in the room and we talked about me being pregnant (I had just found out I was expecting Brock), and she was worried about me because I had just lost all my weight I had gained after having Michael and she was worried that I would gain it all back (.....hmmmm.......if she had only seen me a year ago!). She wouldn't let me bring Michael in to see her that night because she had found out there was a kid admitted to the same floor she was on that had been diagnosed with Spinal Menengitis; she could never have lived with herself if he had gotten sick because of her. There she was laid up in the bed facing her last hours of life and all she could think about was others! I also remember that her roommate had gotten strawberry shortcake that evening for dinner, and my mom talked about how good that looked and how she was wanting some so bad. Mom was diabetic so they didn't bring her any, however as I reflect on how much the world has changed in the last 21 years, today they would have brought her the strawberries with artifical sweetner on them. I remember thinking the next night, that if I had only known it was her last night of life, I would have gotten her that strawberry shortcake!
It just occurred to me that today is really a great day to mark my changes...it was 21 years ago today that I had my last conversation with my mother before she passed away. I remember going to see her that evening and it was just me and her in the room and we talked about me being pregnant (I had just found out I was expecting Brock), and she was worried about me because I had just lost all my weight I had gained after having Michael and she was worried that I would gain it all back (.....hmmmm.......if she had only seen me a year ago!). She wouldn't let me bring Michael in to see her that night because she had found out there was a kid admitted to the same floor she was on that had been diagnosed with Spinal Menengitis; she could never have lived with herself if he had gotten sick because of her. There she was laid up in the bed facing her last hours of life and all she could think about was others! I also remember that her roommate had gotten strawberry shortcake that evening for dinner, and my mom talked about how good that looked and how she was wanting some so bad. Mom was diabetic so they didn't bring her any, however as I reflect on how much the world has changed in the last 21 years, today they would have brought her the strawberries with artifical sweetner on them. I remember thinking the next night, that if I had only known it was her last night of life, I would have gotten her that strawberry shortcake!
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
June 21, 2011
WOW!!! I didn't realize it had been so long since I posted. I am still hanging in there, but pretty much the same old story.....stall, stall, stall!!! Hopefully it will end soon. I am still hanging around the same few pounds, bouncing up and down! Really wish I could at least get below these few pounds so I can fall below 200, but hopefully in due time. Supposedly I am not finished losing weight, so I am hoping to start moving down again soon.
Since my surgery I have not had to start back on my hormones because I haven't had any issues, but the past few days I am having hot flashes again. Last night was miserable....I would cover up because I was freezing, then I would wake up a while later burning up and have to kick my covers off, then start freezing and start the whole process over, it went on all night! I may have to call my gynecologist if it continues!
Since my surgery I have not had to start back on my hormones because I haven't had any issues, but the past few days I am having hot flashes again. Last night was miserable....I would cover up because I was freezing, then I would wake up a while later burning up and have to kick my covers off, then start freezing and start the whole process over, it went on all night! I may have to call my gynecologist if it continues!
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Thursday, May 26, 2011
YUKKKK..........We had a retirement luncheon today at work and I overfilled my plate again, and yes I sat there till I had eaten MOST of it! I am not sure at what point I will ever learn to watch what I'm doing when I'm at large functions. I just fill my plate and don't give any thought till I sit down and look at my plate and realize what I have done. The mind portion of this journey continues!
I am pretty much stuck again since my last post, I stay between the same 5 lbs, with no additional loss to report at this time. Someone mentioned to me the other day that I am not keeping my blog as up to date these days, but as I explained to them....these days there just really isn't a whole lot to tell. I am hoping and praying that I will meet my goal by the end of this year.....sooner would be nice, but I'd be happy to be there before Thanksgiving.....WOW!!! I just realized this is almost June....I better hurry!!! Actually I think what I was meaning by "this year", is by next April, which is the 2nd anniversary of my surgery.....WHEW! That sounds better. Hopefully it will help now that the weather is actually starting to warm up and we have few days ahead without rain, maybe I'll be able to get outside and do some yardwork.
Hope everyone has a great holiday weekend ahead!
I am pretty much stuck again since my last post, I stay between the same 5 lbs, with no additional loss to report at this time. Someone mentioned to me the other day that I am not keeping my blog as up to date these days, but as I explained to them....these days there just really isn't a whole lot to tell. I am hoping and praying that I will meet my goal by the end of this year.....sooner would be nice, but I'd be happy to be there before Thanksgiving.....WOW!!! I just realized this is almost June....I better hurry!!! Actually I think what I was meaning by "this year", is by next April, which is the 2nd anniversary of my surgery.....WHEW! That sounds better. Hopefully it will help now that the weather is actually starting to warm up and we have few days ahead without rain, maybe I'll be able to get outside and do some yardwork.
Hope everyone has a great holiday weekend ahead!
Saturday, May 7, 2011
FINALLY!!! THE STALL IS BROKEN!!!
Yeee Haw!!! I finally broke my stall this morning and I have now lost 122 lbs.......YES!!! I am just 3 lbs from hitting the big 200 and 4 lbs from falling into "onederland"! Go me!!! I have not had a loss since mid February and although I wasn't loosing faith....I was beginning to get worried that I had stopped losing. To reach my goal I am now 48 lbs away....and if I reach the goal the doctor's office set for me I am just 33 lbs away......either way I will be happy with where I end up.
It's a big day in our house....we're going tonight with the Tuttle's to celebrate with Michael his move to Connecticut next week, and then tomorrow of course is Mother's Day and we'll be celebrating with the Carroll's. Gonna miss my boy!!!
This is the twentieth year that I have had Mother's Day without my mother, and while it has gotten easier, I still miss her very much on her special day. She was definitely the role model of motherhood and I really wish I had only been half the mother she was.....although I tried, I'm very sure I never quite met the standards she set before me! My boys are awesome and I am very thankful to have them with me on this Mother's Day.
It's a big day in our house....we're going tonight with the Tuttle's to celebrate with Michael his move to Connecticut next week, and then tomorrow of course is Mother's Day and we'll be celebrating with the Carroll's. Gonna miss my boy!!!
This is the twentieth year that I have had Mother's Day without my mother, and while it has gotten easier, I still miss her very much on her special day. She was definitely the role model of motherhood and I really wish I had only been half the mother she was.....although I tried, I'm very sure I never quite met the standards she set before me! My boys are awesome and I am very thankful to have them with me on this Mother's Day.
Monday, May 2, 2011
VITAMIN D LOW
I got my labs back last week and my vitamin D is low again. I have to increase it to 50,000 IU's a week. This would explain why I've been so tired lately. I also think I might be getting ready to break through this plateau I've been in. Since the end of last week I have been at the low end of the the 5 lbs. I keep fluctuating in, so hopefully by the end of this week I will break it.
My baby is getting ready to head to CT in a week and a half. I'm excited for him and hope he's happy there. I'm planning to go see him the second week of June, so it won't be so bad at the beginning, but it will be hard to get from June till Christmas without seeing him. At least it's 2011 and we have text, free long distance, Facebook, and Skype......no need to go for weeks at a time without contact like it used to be thirty years ago. Today's technologies sure make it easier for a mom!
My baby is getting ready to head to CT in a week and a half. I'm excited for him and hope he's happy there. I'm planning to go see him the second week of June, so it won't be so bad at the beginning, but it will be hard to get from June till Christmas without seeing him. At least it's 2011 and we have text, free long distance, Facebook, and Skype......no need to go for weeks at a time without contact like it used to be thirty years ago. Today's technologies sure make it easier for a mom!
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