Why Does Have to Take Something Scary to Put Me Back On Track????

This week I have lost 7 lbs.  After the scare on Sunday night with my bowel, I have been towing the line, and have gotten back to the basics of the way I am supposed to eat with my surgery.  No sugar, no soft-drinks, very few carbs, and chew,chew, chewing that food good before swallowing.  I have still had some stomach discomfort, so I am not sure I am totally out of the woods yet, but I am definitely towing the line and making sure that I don't eat anything that will aggravate it. 

The question I have asked myself this week is, "why did it take something scary to happen to put me back on track".  I mean really....I have a new stomach and that stomach really deserves respect for what it is, and I have to admit that I have been very careless for several months now, and clearly it caught up with me.  Therefore, now I am working desperately to get back on track and in the groove of things the way I was in the beginning.  It's easy to forget when things are going well, and I know for myself, I often forget that the reason things were going well is because I was following the rules....when I let up on following the rules so rigidly, I found myself getting into trouble.

Next week I will be in Pigeon Forge with my family, let's see if I can stick so rigidly while on vacation...wouldn't it be awesome to come back from vacation and have a weight loss???  The good thing is that after this week, I have new found hope that I may actually reach my goal!

Possible Bowel Obstruction????

Going to the doctor today. Sunday night before I ever got to sleep I started having excruciating pain, my stomach extended til I looked like I was six months pregnant, I had a knot on the right side of my lower abdomen, my stomach was as hard as a rock, and I litterally felt like I was going to burst.  So yesterday I ate an egg on an english muffin from McDonalds, was feeling better.  Later I ate a ham sandwich and a protein bar and started having a little bit of pain in my right side again. I decided I probably needed to call the doctor, so when the nurse called me back she scheduled me for an appointment today, and told if that EVER happened to me again to go straight to the ER. In looking up all of the symptoms and information, it appears I have a partial bowel obstruction. I am terrified they will want to admit me to the hospital, but as long as they can get by without doing surgery I guess I can handle that.  Will keep everyone posted!

 Good news.....no bowel obstruction...I had a CT Scan and it was fine!!! Praise the Lord, thank you Jesus!!!

Struggling!!!

I have moved the scale below 200, but I am really struggling to get it back down.  One of my biggest fears has always been that I will gain my weight back, and right now I am really struggling to not panic about it.  I don't know, maybe I should panic?????  I am journaling again, which is really very important with success in weight loss I have discovered.  I tend to think "oh I didn't eat much today", but then when I go back and reflect on the day, I realize "OH WOW!!!".  Journaling helps me to keep it under control and to stay focused.  I am trying so hard not to fall back into my old habits, but it's really difficult.  Sometimes I worry that I have lost my original focus and reason for having my surgery......to be healthy!

Putting it on the Table.....In Spite of the Embarrassment!!

Okay, so yesterday morning I was mortified when I woke up and weighed, and the scale said 200!!!  I thought "I am not going to tell anyone about this, I refuse to admit it to anyone".  Then as I was thinking about it this morning I realized.....the purpose of my blog is to hold myself accountable.  If I am going to put myself out there, then I need to be totally honest.  Yesterday my sister was talking to someone, and she told them that she felt very fortunate that at the age of 66 she is in better health than either of our three older sister's were at 66.  I realized....hey....that's why I did this surgery to begin with!  Sometimes I am sure I have lost total focus of my whole purpose in the first place.  My addiction with food is definitely still very much alive and I must get it under control NOW!!!  In reviewing my eating habits over the past couple of months, I tried to reflect on what could possibly be the factor/s here that is causing the issue. It's fairly simple....I have been eating peanut butter daily, not good; I have been drinking too many soft drinks, not good; I have been eating too many sweets, not good; and I've been just plain snacking too much, not good!!!  I can turn this around before it gets out of hand, but I have to do it NOW....I can't wait. I must wake up and get this problem under control!

What is My Problem?????

  I seem to just eat and eat and eat.......it's like food is all I have been thinking about lately!  I have such a fear of coming this far and gaining all the weight back, and yet I still continue to eat too much!  It's just like always.....proving the head game goes on and on.  I am still way too close to 200 lbs, to let myself rest at all, it wouldn't take much for me to top over that mark, and yet I would be so angry with myself if I did do that!  Today I decided that I would try having a protein shake for breakfast for a few days, and attempt to watch my calories closer and see if I can start the scale moving downward.  I need to be more vigilant....get thee behind me Satan!!!

August 3, 2012

Had my appointment with my primary care doctor today, and he was thrilled with my blood pressure, my breathing and my weight.  I had lost another 3 lbs since I had seen him in February, and he was very pleased with that.  He told me that he doesn't care if I lose another pound, as long as I don't gain now. 

This week has been a decent week, I have manged to maintain my weight this week. I have been working in the yard, and yard work is actually very good exercise.  This morning I was listening to Joyce Meyer and she was talking about how we allow things to control us, and how if we say we live in the Holy Spirit, we don't have to be controlled by habits. Example for myself: "Those cookies are calling my name".  Well, she said I don't have to be controlled by those cookies, if I live in the spirit I should be able to ignore the cookies and call on the Holy Spirit to help me.  It sounds like a very simple process, and I agree with her, but why isn't it as as simple as it sounds?  While listening to her message I started to reflect on my thoughts about chocolate, ice cream and just sweets in general, I realized that if I could remember to call on the Spirit every time I get tempted I should be able to lose the last 20 lbs. I want to lose.  Therefore, my challenge and/or goal for myself over the next week is to try to concentrate instead of "subconsciensly" eating, and try to focus more on calling on the Holy Spirit to help me draw the line,and see if I can make any headway in my attempt to lose the last 20 pounds.

July 25, 2012 - Surviving Vacation

I was on vacation last week, and unfortunately stayed home.  I found two things out about myself: 1) I am not ready to retire and stay home and 2) My head definitely still thinks if I am sitting around I must eat.  This was a "rest" vacation and we only did a couple of things, but for the most part stayed home.  I found that when I was sitting at the house resting all I wanted to do was eat.  People think that because you can't eat much after gastric by-pass that you don't eat a lot.  The problem is you can only eat a small amout at one time, however you can still graze and overeat.....thus, sitting around the house makes it easy to graze.  I found myself grazing a lot.  I am trying to get back into the swing of things this week, walking and trying to watch my caloric intake.

I also found that I didn't take my vitamins and medications on regular schedule either.  I usually take my vitamins and meds after I eat my breakfast at work every morning about 8:00 like clock work.  However, while at home sometimes I didn't eat till the afternoon and by that time I forgot to take my meds.....just being off schedule can make a huge difference.  I didn't feel as energetic either, just sitting around and not getting my vitamins.....two years later, they are still important.

I did go to the Q Store in Somerset one day and got three pairs of pants for $6 each and a sweater for $4. I LOVE finding good buys like that!  They are much easier to find in my new size than when I was large. Of course when you need clothes and you can find bargains like that, it makes you feel really good.  One thing I was concerned about was having to buy new clothes and not being able to afford them, but I have been extremely fortunate to find lots of things off the clearance racks.  You sure don't find those kinds of clearance's on the "big girl" racks.