Friday, September 14, 2012
Why Does Have to Take Something Scary to Put Me Back On Track????
The question I have asked myself this week is, "why did it take something scary to happen to put me back on track". I mean really....I have a new stomach and that stomach really deserves respect for what it is, and I have to admit that I have been very careless for several months now, and clearly it caught up with me. Therefore, now I am working desperately to get back on track and in the groove of things the way I was in the beginning. It's easy to forget when things are going well, and I know for myself, I often forget that the reason things were going well is because I was following the rules....when I let up on following the rules so rigidly, I found myself getting into trouble.
Next week I will be in Pigeon Forge with my family, let's see if I can stick so rigidly while on vacation...wouldn't it be awesome to come back from vacation and have a weight loss??? The good thing is that after this week, I have new found hope that I may actually reach my goal!
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Possible Bowel Obstruction????
Good news.....no bowel obstruction...I had a CT Scan and it was fine!!! Praise the Lord, thank you Jesus!!!
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Struggling!!!
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Putting it on the Table.....In Spite of the Embarrassment!!
Thursday, August 16, 2012
What is My Problem?????
Friday, August 3, 2012
August 3, 2012
This week has been a decent week, I have manged to maintain my weight this week. I have been working in the yard, and yard work is actually very good exercise. This morning I was listening to Joyce Meyer and she was talking about how we allow things to control us, and how if we say we live in the Holy Spirit, we don't have to be controlled by habits. Example for myself: "Those cookies are calling my name". Well, she said I don't have to be controlled by those cookies, if I live in the spirit I should be able to ignore the cookies and call on the Holy Spirit to help me. It sounds like a very simple process, and I agree with her, but why isn't it as as simple as it sounds? While listening to her message I started to reflect on my thoughts about chocolate, ice cream and just sweets in general, I realized that if I could remember to call on the Spirit every time I get tempted I should be able to lose the last 20 lbs. I want to lose. Therefore, my challenge and/or goal for myself over the next week is to try to concentrate instead of "subconsciensly" eating, and try to focus more on calling on the Holy Spirit to help me draw the line,and see if I can make any headway in my attempt to lose the last 20 pounds.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
July 25, 2012 - Surviving Vacation
I also found that I didn't take my vitamins and medications on regular schedule either. I usually take my vitamins and meds after I eat my breakfast at work every morning about 8:00 like clock work. However, while at home sometimes I didn't eat till the afternoon and by that time I forgot to take my meds.....just being off schedule can make a huge difference. I didn't feel as energetic either, just sitting around and not getting my vitamins.....two years later, they are still important.
I did go to the Q Store in Somerset one day and got three pairs of pants for $6 each and a sweater for $4. I LOVE finding good buys like that! They are much easier to find in my new size than when I was large. Of course when you need clothes and you can find bargains like that, it makes you feel really good. One thing I was concerned about was having to buy new clothes and not being able to afford them, but I have been extremely fortunate to find lots of things off the clearance racks. You sure don't find those kinds of clearance's on the "big girl" racks.
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Anyway....so now life must go forward.....and I had gained about 7 lbs. during the time she was in the hospital, and so far I have managed to shed two of them. I have reflected a lot over the past three weeks about the things that took place with me in regard to my body during the couple of months she was in the hospital. I realized that I had pretty much managed to drink a "real" soft drink (not diet) at least 5-6 times per week while she was in there, find snacks in the machine because I wasn't going to be home early enough to fix dinner, and okay....yes, I am going to come clean and admit this.....I stopped routinely, about 5-7 times per week to pick up an ice cream cone from McDonald's!!! THERE...I SAID IT!!! Hey.....I was losing my sister, wasn't it okay for me to make myself feel better with ice cream???? I mean everyone knows that ice cream is the "fix all" when your down, right???? Speaking of ice cream, when our family celebrated July 4th on June 30th, I made homemade banana ice cream...yum, yum! Well, I wasn't satisfied to just have one "little" cup of it, I had to have a second "little" cup of it.......and yes.....I got profusely sick!!! I had to go to the bathroom and throw up, and then I had to stay in the house and lay down for about 45 minutes until I finally started feeling better and could go back out and enjoy the party.......now look at the time I wasted spending with my family for what???? THE LOVE OF ICE CREAM!!!! Would I do it again? Well, when we went to Tina's on the 4th, and she made chocolate and banana ice cream, Charlie informed me that I would NOT be having ice cream again. So, I did kind of sneak a little bit of the chocolate....actually Tina gave it to me; and then about an hour later I sneaked (without anyone knowing) a little bit of the banana! Well hey, I had to compare to see if Tina could make banana ice cream as well as I can, right??? She can :).
Anyway, my point is that there will ALWAYS be an excuse to treat myself, so I really have to decide for myself if it's worth the possibility of missing a portion of my life, spending time with the people I love, being sick. I must admit...there are times when it really is worth it to me though...I'm just being honest! That being said however, most of the time the answer would be "no, it's not". Anyway, my goal this week has been to be more accountable and get myself back on track with counting my protein and calories, and it has paid off and thus, I've lost the two pounds. I am still (NOW) 25 lbs. from my ultimate goal weight.....and while I am not convinced I will ever make it there, I am still not ready to give up on the dream of it.....so WE WILL SEE!!! I will try to be more vigilant in posting my blog and hopefully that will help me to stay focused, which was the purpose of my blog to begin with.
Sunday, June 17, 2012
That being said, this is a real test of my ability to stay in control of my eating habits while under an unsurmountable amount of stress. I haven't gained any weight and am holding my own, but I will say that I have fallen to having an occasional candy bar while at the hospital sitting around waiting.....boredom and stress together.....not a good combination. I have also been drinking an awful lot of soft drinks. I have tried over the past few days to pull it together and I think I have done fair. One thing people have been telling me recently is how thin my face has become, and I have to say it has.....I haven't lost anymore weight, so not sure exactly why my face has thinned. Only explanation I have come up with is, maybe it's because I have been chewing a lot of gum????
I will try to do better at posting! Hopefully I will get through this hump here and get the last 20 lbs. off someday!!!
Monday, May 21, 2012
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Two Year Surgiversary!
I believe my biggest challenge in finishing my goal has remained my desire to "emotional eat". My surgery did not fix my desire to eat when I'm happy, sad, depressed or bored. I have endured some significant challenges in the past year that have most likely helped to deter my success in reaching my goal. I also have to face the fact and admit that I still love to eat sweets, and unfortunately for me I have continued to indulge more often than I should.....but that is the biggest reason that I should NEVER have even allowed myself to have anything sweet to start with because the more I eat it, the more I want it. So in reflection, I can see why I haven't reached my goal yet. My biggest fear today still remains the "fear of gaining the weight back". I know too many people who have had this surgery that have gained it back, so...keeping that in mind I realize I am never out of the woods so to speak. It will have to be a lifetime committment to myself for me to continue in the success.
I am also reminded today of the things I am able to do that two years ago today I could not do. Most importantly....I can walk from my car to my office without being completely out of breath! In fact....in the afternoons, I am the first person back to my car because I walk so fast! I can cross my legs, bend over to pick things up off the ground, and get in the floor to sit without having to worry about how I am going to get up. In fact in the past couple of weeks I've been painting two rooms in my house, and can get down to paint the trim without problems. I can now ride a roller coaster, zip line, fit through tighter spaces.....the list could go on! I am very excited to say that I do not have asthma anymore or high blood pressure, and I do not take any medication for either!
As I celebrate today, I am reminded of my sweet mother who didn't have the opportunity in her lifetime to have this surgery. She has always been, and remains my inspiration, and I have no doubt that she would be my loudest cheerleader! Here's to you Mom....I have lost 136 lbs., and thank you Jesus for this wonderful opportunity!
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
April 4th, 2012
With all this going on I have to admit that I have struggled with emotional eating. I haven't gained any weight, in fact I have actually lost a pound and am now down 136 lbs, and have 19 to go til I reach my goal. I have really seen in the past month how the surgery did not fix my head.....I still want to eat when I am down, when I am happy, when I am sad, and pretty much just all the time....food is my comfort, my reward, and that ever so true friend that's always there for me when I just can't seem to get it together. I have discovered recently though that I seem to be having more problems with dumping syndrome. It seems that for the longest time I wasn't really bothered by it, but for some reason in the past few weeks it has started up again, and it's been pretty bad at times. HMMMM.....do you think my body is trying to tell me something??? DUH!
Friday, March 2, 2012
135 LBS. GONE, LAYNE BRYANT PANTS, AND UK T-SHIRT
Well, I have now officially lost 135 lbs., with 20 more to reach the doctor's weight goal for me and 30 to reach the goal I have set for myself.....we'll see! Today I am wearing the pants that I referred to earlier in February that Lynn had gotten for me at Layne Bryant a year ago. My goal was to be able to wear them by the end of February, and I made it! They're still a little snugger than I like, but they don't hurt to sit or eat in them;....you know what I mean!!! I'm still walking at least Mon-Fri for about 45 minutes per day. I'm hanging in there! Oh! one more exciting thing....I have NEVER owned a UK t-shirt, but Michael decided I needed one, so he bought me a really cute pink one yesterday in a size L, and it fit! I probably won't put it in the dryer, but that's okay!
Friday, February 24, 2012
February 24th, 2012
Friday, February 3, 2012
HOLIDAY WEIGHT IS GONE...WOO HOO!!!
I can hear Mama shouting from heaven for me today! Michael used to say when he was little that Granny is baking chocolate cakes in heaven now.....I can't wait to get there and eat one of those cakes that doesn't have the calories!
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Almost February!
I have noticed that my clothes are feeling better because I have been walking at work, so that's a good thing. I do have this one pair of pants that Lynn picked up for me last year at Lane Bryant that are a size 14, that are still just a smidgin' too tight. My goal for February is to get into those pants by the end of the month.....hmmm......we'll see!
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Finally Starting to Get It Together!
So, last night when we went to the movies I made the decision before I went that even though I had a "$2.00 off coupon" for popcorn that I was not going to eat popcorn.....those coupons really mess with my head. I tend to feel like if I have a coupon to save money I "MUST" take advantage of it, right???? Well, amazingly enough I went last night and didn't use my $2.00 coupon, had unsweetened tea left from my dinner which I took in with me, and guess what??? I came home with about $10.00 more than if I had used my $2.00 coupon and gotten an Icee!!! How cool is that??? Amazing how that happens, and you know what else??? I stayed within my calorie range for the day.....even more amazing!!! Thus I wake up this morning, weigh and I have "lost weight".....WOW!!!
So...my goal for this next week is to stop grazing and stay within my 1200 calorie per day range, cut the sugar and carbs....hmmm...we'll see what happens!
Friday, January 13, 2012
Still Struggling.....But It's Okay
I remember talking to people who had been through gastric bypass prior to my surgery and they told me they had no desire for chocolate or sugar. So when I had my surgery I was sure that I would lose my desire for all the foods (mostly sweets) I love and crave. It did in the early days; I couldn't stand the thought of sugar, what I didn't realize, and what nobody told me was that eventually those things would come back to haunt me.
The winter is definitely proving to be difficult for me again as well. I am so bored sitting at the house when I come home from work and there is absolutely nothing on TV these days. So I sit there in the evenings and want to eat. With all the energy I have you would think I would get some much needed work on the house done, but instead I sit at my computer and play games most of the night trying to keep food off my mind. Definitely looking forward to Spring!
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Friday, January 6, 2012
Difficulty Starting Over
So, the moral of my story is......that slippery slope is very dangerous and once I go down it, it is very difficult to for me to get back on track....HOWEVER, I refuse to give up and today is a completely new day and I still have 37 more pounds to lose......so today I pledge to stay on track no matter what comes up.
The good thing about this week; my foot is better and I have been walking again this week. So...I guess the week hasn't been a total loss, plus I have lost 1 of the 5 lbs I gained through the holidays. I will be doing some updated pictures over the next week and am even planning on pulling out the clothes I had on in my very first picture and taking a picture with them on....hmmmm!
Monday, January 2, 2012
Happy New Year!!!
The holidays are finally over and although I'm dreading the long winter and several months now before I get another vacation, I am glad to be getting back into a regular routine and start getting myself back on track in more ways than one. We got Dianne moved back home a few weeks ago and she seems to be doing fine,and Michael moved back home the day after Dianne moved out. Michael is job hunting and has decided to go back to school in August to get his degree in psychology and get a Ph.D. Right now he is considering very strongly a school in New Mexico. Brock is still happy in his job at Amazon and we are praying very hard that Toyota will find placement for Keith with his restrictions within the next couple of weeks. This week they will finally open up the freeze they've had on transfers, so we are hopeful that something will break for him soon. Hopefully he and Michael will be working again soon, and our 2012 will get going in the right direction. It is much easier for me to stay focused on eating right when everyone around me is doing well. Michael says I will be his first psychological case......WOW!!! Probably a very difficult case to start out with!!!
Sooooo......goodbye to the chocolate, sugar and all those other foods that haunted me through these holidays, and hello to healthy eats, journalling and exercise!!! Tomorrow I will try walking with my foot and see how things go, hopefully well!!!