Saturday, July 31st

It's been a few days since I posted, its been a rough week. I have lost 1 lb. this week, and that puts me at 76 lbs lost, but most importantly.........it put me below 250!!!! Yes, I weigh 249!!! This past week has been an emotional one, therefore one which I've had to deal with that "head" thing that makes me want to eat because of stress. One evening I was home and I was so emotional that all I wanted to do was find something to eat. I kept trying to remind myself that food would not solve the issues at hand. To be honest with you it was such an emotional week that I honestly don't remember if I ate during that time or not. I do know that if I did, it was at least a good choice. I think I have made it to that place where I don't want to sabotage what I've already done. It is becoming easier to make good choices when I have the urge to "just eat".

I decided to look for a part-time job to help give me money to buy new clothes with, so I had filled out an application at Catherine's, the shop for "big women". This week they had me in on Monday for an interview and on Thursday they did a phone interview. I think I screwed it up Thursday when the district manager interviewed me and asked me what I would do if I was at the end of month and my quota for credit applications hadn't been met. I told her that "I might try harder to remember to ask the customer, however I have to be honest that I would respect the customer when they told me no and not push because I don't personally believe credit cards are a good thing". After the interview she told me they were looking to hire in the fall season, which is not the impression I had gotten previously, so I think she didn't like my answer. That's okay though because when I came home and told my family about it, Michael told me he was proud of me for being honest and standing up for what I believed. Having him say that to me was so much more fulfilling than "earning points" for a credit application.

I'm praying for a better week this next week! Have a good one everyone!

75 lbs. Gone Today!!!

As of today I am down 75 lbs., and I couldn't think of a better day to post new pictures. Go me!!! Wouldn't Mama be proud??? I went into Cato's today and I tried on size 22 pants, about six pairs, and all six of them fit perfect! I clearly can't remember the last time I could wear a size 22. I applied for a part-time job at Catherine's a couple of weeks ago, and they called me today to see if I was interested. I'm definitely going to be needing clothes VERY SOON, and I'm thinking I might ought to take the job at least for a few months. I don't know!!!

New Pictures

Friday, July 23rd

I haven't lost anymore weight this week, but that's okay, I'm cool with it. I did go into Kohls today though and was looking through the clearance racks. I didn't try anything on, but soon I will be needing to make a few purchases to get me through. In looking I did find this one top that was a 1X and I really liked it, but it wasn't clearanced enough yet for me to justify buying it. What I noticed was that I kept wanting to go through the 3X's and look at those. It was like my mind just couldn't look through and pass up the larger sizes. My head is still so wrapped up in buying the larger sizes and I even found myself thinking "I don't want to get something too tight, and not end up being able to wear it". It's like while my mind knows I will continue to lose weight, I still can't quite wrap my head around it. I felt like if I had tried something on today I probably would have tried to make sure it fit comfortably, and would have been afraid of buying something that might still be a little snug. I'm not sure if any of this makes sense, but I'm trying to explain it. I did eat some french fries today from Wendy's and I felt really bad about it. Now mind you, I only ate a few, but my again "my head", still thinks I'm going to gain weight if I eat something I shouldn't. While I know I do have to be careful with the carbs, I don't think I'm eating enough carbs that they could possibly do much harm for me. Still so much to learn about my thoughts about food and buying clothes.

97 POUNDS TO GO!!!

Ninety-seven pounds to go!!! Less than 100 lbs. to lose!!! It has been literally years since I needed to lose less than 100 lbs. My total loss now is 73 lbs. I am beginning to feel good about myself. I'm happy too that so far it looks like my skin is holding up pretty well. So far it looks like my belly and my arms are going to end being my biggest problem areas with skin. I went to see a movie Saturday at the dollar movies and I wasn't miserable sitting in the seats for the first time since I can remember. I am in my smallest clothes and they are starting to get big, so not too much longer till I'll need to go shopping. I'm hoping my mother-in-law will be able to take up some of my pants. She had taken up two pairs of my capris before my vacation and they are already too big again.

Three Month Check Up

I had my three month check up yesterday with the bariatric doctor and my six month check up today with my primary care doctor. Both were very pleased with my progress and said I am doing great! My primary care doctor told me he would give me an A+ on my visit today. He told me that he has a few other bariatric patients, but I am doing the best as far as weight loss of all them. Go me! He decreased my blood pressure medicine and I have cut out about three of my other medications.

Today is a bittersweet day for me. Although I am thrilled with my progress and my visits, it was twenty years ago today that I lost my mother. I miss her just as much today as I did twenty years ago today. She was the wind beneath my wings and I miss her terribly! I look so forward to the day I see her sweet face again, and I know today she is smiling down on me and happy for me.

100 lbs. to Go to Reach My Goal!!!!!

This is an exciting day for me, I have now lost 70 lbs, and as of today I now have 100 lbs. to go to reach my goal! The Bariatric doctor's goal for me is 170, however my personal goal is 155. My smallest clothes are all starting to get bigger on me and soon I'll have to have more clothes. I had thought I would last till fall, but I don't think so. Last night I was reminded of how my thoughts toward food have changed. I decided I wanted new potatoes and green beans. So, while they were on the stove cooking I went to my computer and was doing some things, and the next thing I knew Michael was saying "what's burning?", I had completely forgotten I had put them on! First of all I should have set the timer, but I told Keith that they will have to help me in the future because I don't think about food constantly and I can easily get sidetracked.

This will be a difficult week for me, as this week will be 20 years since I lost the best friend I have ever in my life had, my mother. She was the most loving example of what a mother should be and for that I thank her, and I thank God for the privilege of allowing her to be mine!

Friday, July 9th

Well, as of today I am down 68 lbs. That is so hard for me to believe. I now weigh less than 260 lbs., and to be honest I can't remember the last time I weighed less than 260. The last time I remember weighing around 260 was about 14-15 years ago. Seems like this week my loss has been a little faster than in recent weeks. I am reminded that this procedure is just a tool, as last weekend I had some homemade ice cream and I can't lie.....I LOVED IT! I did dump on it just a little, but I found myself eating quite a bit of it. When our family had our July 4th picnic last week I also ate three different desserts, but they were just "very small" slivers of each and I did fine with them. Oh! I just remembered I also had a piece of Marissa's birthday cake with the ice cream. Looking forward to the weekend!

July 2nd, 2010

Well, it's the weekend and I haven't lost anymore weight this week. Not to be discouraged though.....it seems the weeks I don't have a loss, I lose inches and so it averages out. I did buy two new t-shirts tonight, and got a 2X......EXCITING!!!!! I got a new bra tonight too. My bras are starting to outgrow the rest of me!