Sunday, August 29th

It's been a busy week, and I've lost another pound putting me at 84 lbs. lost now. I picked up a few pieces of clothing at the church yard sale this weekend, and Friday night when I was looking through the clothing rack I kept looking through the "3X" section. Pam Speck walked up and said "aren't those too big for you?" I said "yes, but my head can't stop looking at them." I still find myself drawn to those bigger sizes. Lynn had given me a coupon for Lane Bryant that expires today, so last night I went in there to see if I could find something. I decided to try on a pair of jeans, and when I did I was so shocked that I actually needed a size 20. I took a size 20 and 22 in the dressing room and was so sure it would be the size 22 I would need. It's exciting to move to smaller sizes, but it's still so weird for me!

I still have 86 lbs to reach my goal and I know it won't come as quickly as this first 85 has come, but my head still has a hard time wrapping itself around the idea that I will continue to lose. Especially now that I've slowed down, I keep thinking I'm going to stop losing or something. Sometimes when I feel like it's just not coming off so fast, I resort back to this blog to help me realize how far I've come. I kind of have mini goals set up in my mind, and each time I reach into a new set of 10's (i.e. 260, 250, 240), my mind wants to think that's where I'll get stuck. I am just two pounds from falling to the 230's, and it seems like I've been working on getting there for so long, but really it hasn't been that long. I still feel so blessed to have this opportunity. Last Sunday I crossed my legs in church for the first time in I don't even know how long, and in the past three weeks I've walked upstairs to my boys rooms more than I have in the past 10 years combined. Surprisingly enough....they like that I'm making visits to their rooms. Brock even had me up in his room last night to watch a movie. Sometimes I think they're too old and don't want to be bothered with me, but I'm beginning to think they might even like me being around. Maybe I will be able to make up for some of those years I missed out by being to too fat to do anything! I told Keith just last night how much I wished my mother had had this opportunity. She truly is my daily inspiration to keep going and every time I lose a pound I think about her and how happy she would if she could see me now! Just like I want nothing but the best for my boys, she always wanted nothing but the best for me.

Friday, August 20, 2010

I am down 83 lbs now! WOO HOO! I went to join the gym this week so I can start working on my flabby areas, primarily my arms. I think my arms could take flight for me right now! Am really having a hard time coming up with some good ideas for lunch. I haven't been having protein shakes much lately, and I think I'm going to try to go back to them for a few weeks. The past four weeks I have been loosing a couple of handfulls of hair every morning when I wash my hair, and then again when I comb it out. I'm getting my protein in, so not sure why that is happening, but it is a side effect of the surgery. I thought I had skipped it, but guess not. This week in particular, I have really not felt like eating anything for supper. I just get so bored trying to come up with things to eat, and then when I decide on something it just doesn't have that "taste" I guess I'm looking for, so it's really a disappointment. Today I have had a protein shake for breakfast, a protein bar, and a Wendy's chili w/ cheese and crackers in it. Not sure what supper will be, but planning to have a string cheese soon. I have a lot I need to get done at the house this weekend. The church is having a yard sale next week and I am going to try to gather some things up to take to that, do some yard work, and cleaning. Have a good weekend everyone!

I HIT 80 LBS.!!!!

I hit 80 lbs. lost Saturday and by this morning it was 81!!!! WOO HOO!!!!! I shopped this weekend and got some pants....size 20, I got some tops that were all size 1x or 18/20!!! I also got some bras this weekend and I got a size 44C. I have gone from a 26/28 in pants and tops, and was a size 48D in my bra size.

Friday, August 13th

Well, I am four months post-op now, and I am down 79 lbs! After four months and 79 lbs, I am still learning things about myself and my eating habits. I decided yesterday that I would try to eat a protein bar for breakfast that had 30 gms of protein. I ate it, but it was HUGE and I was miserable! Then, here's where the lesson came in.....I am one of those people who has always had to have something salty to follow something sweet, and visa versa; well, after eating that huge protein bar, I had to have something salty and ended up eating some Cheetos. Needless to say, I didn't think it was worth it!

Saturday, August 7th

I have only lost one pound again this week, so I'm at 77 lbs. Loss is really slow, so I must have hit a plateau, but that's okay. I went to Kohls today and hit the clearance rack and bought my first pair of size 20 pants! I bought 4 shirts that were 1x. I tried on several things, and some of the shirts I need a 2x in depending on the shirt. When I look in the mirror I am not sure I know that person looking back at me. I feel like I am starting to look half way decent, and it's very exciting. I did find a couple of blazers for winter at a yard sale this morning, size 16 from Talbot's. Obviously I can't wear them right now, but for $2 a piece I thought it was a bargain. I told Keith he has to go to work and stay there so I can buy some things. My mother-in-law has taken up several pairs of my pants for me and last week she sent some back she thought would be too small, but they fit perfect. She's having trouble keeping up with me. She's probably thankful I have hit a plateau!

Last night I took Krysta, Brittany and Breanna to the drive-in and usually when I go to the drive-in I love to eat the whole time. I had gotten some sugar free candy to take with me and I ate like four pieces of it, and didn't make me physically sick, but I just felt so awful, I really don't enjoy sweets any more. I had bought some "no sugar added" ice cream last week and for those of you who know me well, you'll be shocked to hear that I still have over half the container still in the freezer. Before surgery I would never have left ice cream in the freezer for more than a couple of days! Ever since the pizza made me sick on vacation, I just really don't enjoy eating pizza either. I really like this "new me". I am not bound by my love for food!

This has been a difficult week and I really had to concentrate hard not to "emotional eat". Some of you have heard that my oldest, best friend Mary was diagnosed with cancer a couple of weeks ago and she learned this week she has it in her lymph nodes as well as her lung. Thank God Mary is a fighter, and I am working very hard on being strong to cheer her on in this fight. Mary has been a cheerleader for me through this and I know I have to not let her down. If Mary can be strong in her fight against her cancer, I surely can be strong in my fight against my gluten! Love you Mary!