February 24th, 2012

Well, I know it's been two weeks since I posted, but to be honest with you....I haven't really been doing all that great! I have been so sidetracked since mine and Brock's birthday's and just like I did through the holidays....I have gotten off track and I am struggling to get back on the wagon. I've got one leg up on the side, but the wagon is driving faster than I can pull the rest of me up there! I even said to someone this week that I don't know if I will EVER reach my goal weight........DO WHAT????? What am I thinking? Am I really ready to accept where I am and give up completely on my end goal??? Did I really come this far to give up now??? Some days I think so! Just like before surgery when life throws me a curve ball, I tend to turn to that good ole' southern comfort...food! I don't know if we ever really conquer the head thing. In talking to others who have had weight loss surgery, I find that most of them NEVER allow themselves to have sweets and carbs at all. Am I really that different??? I still LOVE food, and the thought of never having something sweet or bread again....well, let's just say I'm not sure it's realistic for me. However, I do know that moderation is definitely key.....and yes, although it's not usually really bad anymore, I do still dump when I have too much sugar. Another thing I notice more and more is that while there are some days when I can only eat small amounts of food, there are other days that I feel like I can (and am) eating almost as much as I did prior to surgery. I still struggle with knowing when to give up......i.e....Michael wanted omelets tonight, so we fixed omelets, well I was full at half, but I sat and ate slowly till I finished it.....why didn't I stop at half??? I really don't know.....surely it's not that old thing my mother used to say about the kids in China???? IS IT??? I won't say that it really has to do with the kids in China, but I think it does have to do with the fact that as kids we're told we have to finish everything on our plates, so when we grow up we still think we have to finish "everything" on our plates. Okay, so here's a concept.....why don't we put "less" on our plates????? HMMMM.....

HOLIDAY WEIGHT IS GONE...WOO HOO!!!

I just couldn't wait a week to post this....but I have lost ALL of the five pounds I gained during the holidays plus one!!! YESSSSSS!!!!!!!! Of other notable mention, is that going through my closet last night looking for a shirt to wear under my sweater today, I pulled out a blouse that I wore last summer with a t-shirt under it because it was too tight to button and wear alone. I put the shirt on to check it out and lo and behold....IT BUTTONED!!!! WOO HOO!!!! It is a good day!!!

I can hear Mama shouting from heaven for me today! Michael used to say when he was little that Granny is baking chocolate cakes in heaven now.....I can't wait to get there and eat one of those cakes that doesn't have the calories!