Whew! I Survived My First Week of Work

Well, I did it! I survived my first week of work. Actually it wasn't that bad. I am holding steady at 34 lbs lost, so I suppose I'm in a little bit of a plateau. I have just about had all the protein shakes I can stand at this point, so I have really been trying to find foods I can eat that have protein. I realized last night just how much "bigger my eyes were than my belly". I decided I needed to eat two pieces of cheese for the protein, so I thought it was the perfect time to have "crackers and cheese". That in itself was okay, but I decided I needed eight crackers and broke each piece of cheese into two pieces and folded them up on my crackers, so I needed four crackers for each slice of cheese. Well........by the time I got to the second half of the FIRST piece of cheese I was slowing wayyyyyy......down! Needless to say there is no way I could have eaten the second piece of cheese with crackers. It's very interesting learning just how "little" I can eat after most of my life being able to "out eat" just about everyone I know. It's definitely a whole new way of thinking!

Two Weeks Post-Op

Wow! I can hardly believe it has already been two weeks since surgery. I went back to work today and did fine. My belly is a little tender, but other than that I am feeling great. As of today my total loss is 34 lbs. I overfilled myself last night and got sick....not fun! Fortunately that hasn't happened too often, but this entire process is definitely a "head transformation". Sometimes when eating in front of the TV or computer, I discover that rather than eating slow and taking small bites, I had been shoveling it in. That's when I get sick! I'm still having a little trouble getting my fluids and protein in, but I'm getting better. It's really kind of funny to me that my "drink of choice" is actually water. Tea is good sometimes, but it's not any better to me than the water is. Those who know me really well, know that's a pretty big thing. A coke sounds good, but I can tell you I have absolutely no desire to drink it, just thinking about the gas it would cause makes me nauseated. I am however, looking forward to my first chicken strip or cheeseburger. I am so ready for meat, but I know my pouch would most likely disagree at this point.

First Follow Up

Today I had my first follow-up with the nurse practitioner. She was very pleased with my recovery and said I was doing great! My total weight loss since March 16th was 30 lbs, and she said I should expect to lose 94 lbs total over the next year. That doesn't mean that's all I will lose, just what is expected within the first year. My belly is healing nicely and is really itching, hard not to scratch. I am still sore around the drain tube area and she told me that was normal and it will take longer for that area to heal, as that's the side most of the work was done on. I would say that the only regret I have is that I should have done it sooner, however I feel like this was God's perfect timing and I am satisfied with where I am. I am so blessed!

One Week Post Op

Wow! I can hardly believe it has been one week already. I am so pleased with my recovery. I have one area on my left side that I'm still having quite a bit of pain from, which happens to be where the drain tube was; but other than that I am not in much pain . As of this morning I had lost a total of 30 lbs. Still having trouble getting all the fluids and protein in, but I think it will be better when I am on a better schedule. Planning to go to bed here soon and hoping to sleep through the night. I have been waking up around 3:30 and not going back to sleep for several hours and then not getting up till after 9:30. If I could sleep all night and get up at a normal time and get myself on a regular schedule, I think I will do better. I go to the doctor Wednesday, and so far no regrets!

Not much of a change yet, but it is a total of 27 lbs lost, and 20 lbs since last picture.

5 Days Post-Op

Wow! What an exciting morning......I weighed after I got out of the shower this morning and I was at 299.8! Keith asked me when the last time I saw a 2 in front of my weight was, and the best I can remember is about a year and a half ago when Brock was in the hospital. The protein drinks are becoming harder to drink. They told me my tastes would change after surgery and didn't notice that until yesterday, and those drinks are becoming so sweet I can hardly stand the thought of them. I am mixing it with water today, we'll see if that helps. Last two nights I have gotten sick and a strange full feeling after drinking broth. Last night I actually threw up. I'm thinking the problem is I am not sipping enough fluids throughout the day and then at night I try to hurry to get the fluids in, so today I am working on sipping. It's also very difficult for me to sip; I am a gulper. I am so looking forward to Monday when I can add a few more things to diet.

Middle of the Night Four Days Post-Op

All day today I have sat here and watched TV when I wasn't up walking, and ALL DAY I watched the new KFC commercial with the "bunless chicken sandwhich"; it has two pieces of chicken with cheese and two slices of bacon and something else on them. It comes grilled or fried. I was sitting there all day thinking how good that looked. So, earlier this evening I fixed my "dinner" of broth and jello. I grabbed the largest cup in the cupboard for my broth because "since that's all dinner is I need a lot". I did end up drinking the full cup of broth, but I have been almost sick ever since. I'm not really nauseated, but it's this most uncomfortable feeling of being full. It's 1:45 a.m. and I still feel so full. I barely had room to take my evening medications. After eating the whole cup of broth I told Keith that this entire process is going to be an entire change of mindset. Instead of filling up my plate like I am used to, I will have to retrain myself that I don't have to have the "whole" hamburger or the "whole" baked potato. I kept going back to that chicken sandwhich and I realized that IF I did get that chicken sandwhich, it would probably take me about eight days to eat the entire thing. Reading my tool kit today it said not to eat more than 1/4 of an egg at one time in week four. My usual breakfast consists of 2 boiled eggs, 2 slices of toast, followed by a banana and yogurt. I really thought I was having a "decent" breakfast, but as I am realizing just what I am able to eat now, I'll be lucky to get the egg down much less the toast, banana and yogurt. This will certainly be interesting getting my mind retrained and to actually listen to my stomach instead of my mind when filling up my plate. I could so see myself throwing up a lot in the beginning!

Two Days Post-Op

Well I am two days post-op and I feel great considering. My surgeon was very happy with my progress and so am I. I haven't started losing weight yet, in fact I am actually up about 5 lbs, but that's because of the swelling and the gas. The worst part of the progress so far was today when they removed my drain pump before I came home. NOW THAT HURT! Good news is it was only for a few seconds and then it was over. I will have to give myself Lovenox shots for 14 days, and I have to admit I am very nervous about that. I hate shots anyway, but then when I think about having to give them to myself; it's scary for me. Well, I need to get up and take a walk and then sit back down for awhile on my comfortable couch. I will post more sometime in the next few days. Thanks to all of you for your calls, thoughts and prayers.

The Night Before Surgery

Wow! I can't believe that in just 14 hours I will be on the operating table! Iam so excited. I went to do my pre-op today and I suppose it's for real! Right now I would love to have a big cheeseburger, a taco, or just anything with some substance. Today I am on a clear liquid fast, and if I had to admit the truth, I am really not hungry......it's that "head hunger" again. I've had broth, a popsicle, and jello so far today.

I realize that I am taking a risk here, but any surgery is a risk. I have placed myself in God's hands and he knows my needs and desires; and IF by some chance he chooses to take me home with him through this, I still win. I would be so excited to see my Savior face to face, and to get to see my mother again would so awesome too. More than anything in this world I want both my sons to come back to God, and if He so chooses to use this situation to get them there...then so be it. I am not saying this because I am expecting anything to go wrong, but to help others understand that I AM OKAY NO MATTER WHAT!

Thanks for your thoughts and prayers, and I'll update as soon as I can!

Three Days Before Surgery

Well, here it is three days before surgery and I am starting to get excited. I have to admit that I had to eat two cheeseburgers last night w/ ketchup and mustard on them. Then today at lunch I had a salad that only had lettuce, turkey, ham and eggs in it. I just could not drink another Atkins protein drink. Not that they're just horrible, but after two weeks, my stomach just couldn't do it. As of this morning I am down 17 lbs since 3/16/10. I have got to somehow get through tonight and tomorrow and then on Sunday I'm on clear liquids anyway. Broth sounds pretty good in comparison to an Atkins protein drink right now. I am really going to have to fight with myself not to eat food tonight.

Before Pictures

Here are my before pictures that were taken just two weeks before my surgery. When I saw the surgeon on 3/16/10, I weighed 325. By the time these pictures were taken on 3/23/10 I was down to 318. As of today I have lost 15 lbs since 3/16/10. It's very difficult for me to divulge this information, but as you can see my weight really isn't much of a secret.

Five Days Before Surgery

I am working on learning how to do this blog and exactly how to set it up. Just five days before my surgery and I am getting very excited. My biggest fear of having this surgery is that I won't lose the weight. I have been obese for so long that I truly can't imagine myself thin anymore. That's part of that feeling of being "trapped" that those with obesity feel. It's hard to believe that we will ever be released from the grip that obesity has on us. I started my liquid fast last week and during that first week I learned so much about myself and my relationship with food. I realized that food really does "control me". Remember the commercials with the cookies saying "don't you want me baby" ? Last week all I could think about while working and watching TV at night was FOOD!

My Story

Today is Tuesday, April 6, 2010. I am 6 days away from gastric bypass surgery. My weight has been an issue for almost as long as I can remember. I was born weighing 9 lbs. 3oz., 24 inches long, and from what I am told, I was a very "skinny" baby. I can remember as a young child being thin until I got in second grade. I'm not sure what happened, but during that second grade year I started "ballooning". For the most of my years through school I remained overweight.

In my Sophomore year of high school we had a medical fair one day and when they took my blood pressure it was elevated. My mother took me to see our family doctor, and he informed me that he was not about to put a 15 year old on blood pressure medication when all I needed to do was loose weight. He sat down and told me that my thoughts about food were going to change and he was not putting me on a diet, but he was going to make me change my eating habits. He told me I had to write down everything I ate and bring it back to him in 3 weeks. Much to my surprise when I went back in three weeks I had lost 9 lbs. He continued to see me monthly until I had lost over 40 lbs. For the first time since my childhood I was actually normal sized and I felt wonderful. My self-esteem was restored.

I continued to keep the weight off until I went off to college and even then I only gained 5 lbs. I came home after that year and started eating my mother's wonderful cooking and ended up gaining another 10 lbs. by the time I got married in 1982. I stayed at that weight until I got pregnant with my first son and gained 50 lbs. during my pregnancy. Afterwards I got to within 20 lbs. of my pre-pregnancy weight. I stayed there for over a year and no matter how hard I tried I just couldn't lose those extra 20 lbs. Eventually I gave up and said "to heck with it". I ended up gaining another 50 lbs. When I started talking to my husband about having another baby he refused to let me get pregnant until I lost weight because of my blood pressure. At that time I decided to go to Form U 3, and in four months I had lost over 60 lbs, and was 6 lbs. from my goal weight when I got pregnant with my second son. I again gained 50 lbs., and I got down to within 30 lbs. after giving birth.

However, while I was pregnant with my second son my mother had passed away. Then when my son was three months old my husband got a job where he was working nights and here I was with a newborn, a six year old, no mother and now what seemed like no husband; I would put my children to bed at night and then I would raid the Little Debbie's from the cupboard. I would buy three to four boxes of Little Debbie's every week and I would have a "package" from each box every night. As time went on I continued to gain weight and eventually I reached a place where I would maintain for a while and then each year I would just add another 10 lbs. or so, till I finally reached my highest weight earlier this year. I am now 175 lbs. overweight.

After years of Weight Watchers and fighting the idea of bariatric surgery, I have finally given up and decided to do it. My boys are both adults now and I have finally decided it's time to do something for myself. I have four older sisters that are between 16-23 years older than me and of the four, one has always been able to maintain her weight, while the other three have struggled just like myself. When I look at the three who've struggled like myself, two have had heart attacks, one has had a stroke, and one has diabetes. The one sister who has always maintained her weight gets around great. My mother passed away at the age of 67 with atrial fibulation, which was brought on by her many health problems as a result of her obesity. My mother did not have the opportunity in her lifetime to have gastric bypass, but I am sure if she had had this opportunity she would have taken it. SOOOOO....that being said I am going to proceed with this procedure in memory of my mother and in honor of my children and future grandchildren I hope to be able to spend quality time with.