Two Year Surgiversary!

Yes, I can hardly believe it has been two years today that I had my weight loss surgery. Two years out, I am very satisfied with my results and still very thankful to God for the opportunity to change my life. I still have about 19 lbs. to lose, and admit that there are times when I wonder if I will ever reach that goal, but I don't intend to give up just yet. Two years later I have learned so much about myself, and reading through this blog I see the changes and the challenges that still remain.

I believe my biggest challenge in finishing my goal has remained my desire to "emotional eat". My surgery did not fix my desire to eat when I'm happy, sad, depressed or bored. I have endured some significant challenges in the past year that have most likely helped to deter my success in reaching my goal. I also have to face the fact and admit that I still love to eat sweets, and unfortunately for me I have continued to indulge more often than I should.....but that is the biggest reason that I should NEVER have even allowed myself to have anything sweet to start with because the more I eat it, the more I want it. So in reflection, I can see why I haven't reached my goal yet. My biggest fear today still remains the "fear of gaining the weight back". I know too many people who have had this surgery that have gained it back, so...keeping that in mind I realize I am never out of the woods so to speak. It will have to be a lifetime committment to myself for me to continue in the success.

I am also reminded today of the things I am able to do that two years ago today I could not do. Most importantly....I can walk from my car to my office without being completely out of breath! In fact....in the afternoons, I am the first person back to my car because I walk so fast! I can cross my legs, bend over to pick things up off the ground, and get in the floor to sit without having to worry about how I am going to get up. In fact in the past couple of weeks I've been painting two rooms in my house, and can get down to paint the trim without problems. I can now ride a roller coaster, zip line, fit through tighter spaces.....the list could go on! I am very excited to say that I do not have asthma anymore or high blood pressure, and I do not take any medication for either!

As I celebrate today, I am reminded of my sweet mother who didn't have the opportunity in her lifetime to have this surgery. She has always been, and remains my inspiration, and I have no doubt that she would be my loudest cheerleader! Here's to you Mom....I have lost 136 lbs., and thank you Jesus for this wonderful opportunity!

April 4th, 2012

WOW!!! I didn't realize it had been over a month since I last posted. I have been a little down over the past month, it just seemed like nothing was going right and I just couldn't get myself motivated to post. Finally a couple of weeks ago, I prayed and told God that I just couldn't bear anymore and asked for some hope......having lean on His promise that he will not put more on us than we can bear, I was beginning to question. Believe it or not though, that very day Keith finally got a call after being off work for a back injury for 9 months that Toyota had a job for him and he started back on April 2nd. Also, on that very day Michael got a job and started on March 26th. So, yes I can testify that God really does not give us more than we can bear, God is good! Not only that.....that week I had also prayed for God to help me find some paint cheap because I wanted to paint my bedroom while I was on vacation last week, and never in a million years dreamed I would find it that cheap....but....I went into Sears that week and lo and behold, they had SIX gallons of paint marked down to $2.97 a gallon!!! YESSSS!!!! So, on my vacation I did get my bedroom painted and I love it! I have enough paint to paint another room in the house too....so I went from feeling very hopeless to feeling incredibly blessed in just a matter of days, thank you Jesus for showing up! Michael loves his job, and Keith started his job a couple of days ago and he LOVES it!!! What a blessing!

With all this going on I have to admit that I have struggled with emotional eating. I haven't gained any weight, in fact I have actually lost a pound and am now down 136 lbs, and have 19 to go til I reach my goal. I have really seen in the past month how the surgery did not fix my head.....I still want to eat when I am down, when I am happy, when I am sad, and pretty much just all the time....food is my comfort, my reward, and that ever so true friend that's always there for me when I just can't seem to get it together. I have discovered recently though that I seem to be having more problems with dumping syndrome. It seems that for the longest time I wasn't really bothered by it, but for some reason in the past few weeks it has started up again, and it's been pretty bad at times. HMMMM.....do you think my body is trying to tell me something??? DUH!