Post Christmas Post

Hope everyone had a great Christmas and looking forward to a new year! The Carroll's had a great Christmas, and believe me I am looking forward to a new year......I won't say it can't get worse, but after many years of awful years, I am thinking/praying I am due a good one for a change!

Boy did I enduldge in food over the holiday....I've had cookies, pie, cake and candy! NEVER GOT SICK!!! I hoped I would, however I will say that even though I didn't "dump" on them, I don't feel really good when I eat a lot of sugar. You would think that would be enough, but obviously not, which I'm sure most of you understand. The good news is I did not gain any weight over the holiday, but I'm sure that's because I'm only eight months out from surgery; I'm thinking I better not count on that by the time next Christmas rolls around. My taste buds are returning to normal and I am loving sweets again.....if you remember early on in my blog I couldn't stand the taste of anything sweet, unfortunately that didn't last. Now I guess it will be up to me to be strong!

Since October 10th I've only lost 11 pounds, and while it's good that I'm losing slower, I hope I will pick up just a little more....I would like to fall below 200 lbs by my birthday, which is coming up in February. Guess I better start moving more! I have sort of fallen off the exercise wagon. I could give all kinds of excuses, but that's really all they would be is excuses. I don't have young children anymore, so it's not like I'm sooooo.....busy like I used to be!

Hope everyone has a great New Year!

Holiday Realization

Well, we had our family Christmas Party this past weekend and I learned soooo........much about myself! Eight months out and I'm still learning things. First I realized last week that my tastebuds are showing back up in full force.....in other words, sweets are becoming more appealing, early on the thought of sweets made me ill....not anymore! Anyway, I did fairly decent about eating primarily protein at the party, but I still "wanted" the sweets for desert. I made peppermint cake balls myself and nibbled on those the entire time I was making them....I had to make sure they were decent! That being said I did notice that my new stomach still did not allow me to eat all I wanted to, which is a good thing. I love, love, love Norma's Italian Creme Cake and of course she had made it.....so I took a piece home to eat later, and I actually ate half of it and gave the other half to Dianne, which is pretty good compared to the past I suppose.

I'm also noticing that my head is still telling me that old usual line, "I'll start my diet after the holidays". In comparison I still have done very well this holiday season, simply because my stomach won't let me do anymore damage than what I've managed, however I have become vastly aware that if I choose to eat sweets, I can eat a bite or two now, wait an hour and eat a couple more bites, wait another hour, eat a bite, and.....well.....you get the picture, I do see how people can gain their weight back after surgery. This surgery is still very much a "tool", not a fix all to my problems!

Have a Very Merry Christmas!!!

Sunday, December 12th

Well, it's been a while I know, but we have been sooooo......busy with so much going on. As of today I am now down 111 lbs. Just a mere 15 lbs till I fall below 200, woo hoo!!!! Watch for that post!

Since I posted last my brother-in-law passed away the Monday before Thanksgiving, I was on vacation and got a lot done while I was off, and this past week was Keith's 50th birthday. Last night we went to Regatta's to celebrate and had an awesome time.

Last night I was so looking forward to having a piece of Keith's birthday cake, and normally cake doesn't bother me at all, but when I took after just two bites of his cake last night my stomach started cramping and it took it about a half hour to calm down. Not exactly sure why that happened, except I had had two of the rolls before my chicken came, and bread is not exactly the easiest thing to eat, but when I'm out somewhere like that I do eat it......had I known I would miss the cake because of it, I would have forgone the rolls to have the cake....I LOVE cake!

New Pictures

Here are some new pictures Keith made me take after I got some new jeans, size 18.

FINALLY BROKE THE STALL!!!

I finally broke the stall!!! I have now lost 107 lbs. This past week was a rough one; I started a part-time job at Sears and worked three nights and quit. This almost 50 year old woman just can't handle getting up at 5:30 a.m. and going till 11:30 p.m. Too old for that, but who knows, maybe that's what helped break my stall.

Mary's been in the hospital this weekend with a UTI that went into her bloodstream and didn't get to have her chemo on Friday. Everybody please continue to pray for Mary and Dianne! Dianne is doing great so far and has two more chemo treatments before her surgery will be scheduled, probably around the first of the year. I feel so guilty being so happy with my weight loss with both of them being so sick. I'm having a hard time being excited about the holiday's with Keith not working and finances being tight, but then when I add in all the people I know right now with cancer who aren't doing so well, it's really been a challenge for me to focus on the REAL reason for the Season, King Jesus!

STILL STALLED!!!

Well, here it is November 17th and I'm still stalled! I have not had a loss at all since 10/31, and since the middle of October have pretty much bounced back and forth with the same 3-4 pounds. I'm not discouraged, but starting to be a little frustrated. I have tried eating more food, less food, more protein, etc....and nothing seems to be breaking this stall. I start working a part-time job at Sears starting tonight, who knows, maybe working extra and being on my feet will help break the stall....something to change up the routine.

I cannot believe we are just over five weeks from Christmas! This year has simply flown by and it seems only yesterday we had Christmas 2009, however when I try to remember particulars, I can't.......must be getting old!

PLATEAU!

I guess I'm in a real plateau, I am stuck and bouncing back and forth between the same three pounds now for over a week. I'm still doing good though and am still very happy with my progress. Can you believe we are less than 7 weeks from Christmas? I can hardly believe it! I am not in the Christmas spirit this year at all! Too much going on, working hard at reminding myself that the reason for the season is the birth of Christ and my mood doesn't really matter that much, just trying to remember that my Savior was born for me and loves me very much no matter how I "feel".

I am really struggling at trying to make myself exercise. I am just kind of in a funk and having trouble just making myself get up and walk. I know if I would I would feel better. I am going today to talk to Sears about a part time job for the holidays to try to help make ends meet and be able to do Christmas. Praying really hard for Keith's test to get scheduled and completed so he can get back to work. Determined not to let these tough times set me backwards on my weight loss, and being thankful for the progress I've made thus far! Time's like these are when I am in touch with the reality that they fixed my stomach and not my head. Better days to come I'm sure!

Dumped Today!

Well, let me start by sharing that I have lost two more pounds, so I am now at 106 lbs gone, 64 to go and I am below.....drum roll..........220 at 219!!! Just 20 more to go before I fall below 200, that will be a HUGE drum roll!!!

I picked up some chicken salad at Sam's on Saturday thinking it would be a good lunch option, and I dumped on it! I got so sick I thought I might die for a few minutes. Needless to say....I won't be eating anymore of that! Back to chili till I can come up with something else I guess. I am kind of getting tired of chili, but it's still the one thing I know I can eat without getting sick and it's an easy thing for me to do. I came home this afternoon and snacked on some baked tortilla chips, and now I'm feeling kind of sick......oops....maybe that was the french onion dip I had them on! Oh well, not sure I will be having dinner, I don't feel like I could eat another thing for a very long time! Still learning my new little pouch!

104 LBS!!!

Well, I am now down 104 lbs! Woo Hoo! I am very happy. Weight loss has slowed down quite a bit, but that's okay, it's still coming off. I've done pretty well through the Halloween season, not eating candy. This week Keith brought in some candy corn and I have munched on a few each night, but nothing like I used to. A year ago I would have eaten an entire bag in two days! I ate rice tonight and I don't think it's going to sit too well, my stomach has been churning. Rice along with pasta and bread are among the hardest things for WLS patients. The holidays are quickly approaching and it's exciting in a way because every year for about the last twenty years at Christmas I always think to myself "maybe next year I won't be fat"; and of course every year I was STILL fat at Christmas. This year will be awesome and next year......well.....let's just say hopefully by then I will be at my goal and it will be TOTALLY AWESOME!!!

100 POUNDS GONE!!!!!!!!!

100 POUNDS GONE PICTURES

6 Month Post-Op

I had my six month post-op visit today and she said I was doing great. I did admit to her that I had had Cheetos this week when I came home from work before dinner......she thought it was a bad idea. In fact her exact words were "that's a slippery slope, especially as well as you've done so far". It's true, my head is still very much playing games with me. You know......once an alcoholic stops drinking they can NEVER have alcohol again or they fall off the wagon, it's very much the same with food, however the only problem is.....I still have to eat to live! This is a life long battle! One I'm sure I can win, but I will have to continue to work hard to keep my head in the game.

After my appointment today I also went to The Dress Barn and tried on a pair of size 18 pants.....and they fit! YES!!!!! I honestly can't remember the last time I put on a pair of size 18 pants. I didn't buy them, but they will definitely be coming soon! This weekend is the hay ride at Lynn and Larry's and I'm looking forward to possibly getting on the wagon and actually taking the hay ride this time. For several years I have stayed back because I was so fat and it was too difficult to get up on the wagon!

100 POUNDS GONE!!!!!!!!!

What a day, I reached 100 lbs. lost!!!!!!! WOO HOO!!!! GO ME!!!! I could not believe my eyes when I stepped on the scale this morning and saw the numbers....225, PRAISE GOD FROM WHOM ALL BLESSINGS FLOW!!! I have between 55 and 70 pounds to go to reach my goal, somewhere between 170 and 155. Wouldn't Mama be proud? I know she is smiling down from Heaven today! I love her and miss her so much!

Cold Weather Jitters!

Well, it's getting colder, I am now almost six months out, and my appetite is returning! I am doing great, however I am at two weeks without a loss now. I am doing okay with it, I know there are going to be stalls....guess this is one of them. I haven't been doing very well with my walking or with going to the gym. Dianne has been here and I have been busy helping her out, but that is really not a great excuse for not going to the gym. She's doing better now and I could easily go to the gym either in the mornings or in the evenings. Although I have more energy now that I've lost weight, there is still that constant battle with regard to exercising. I can always find something else to do or to prevent me from doing it.......it really does have to take priority and that is still up to me. Last night I was wanting a hamburger so bad and I fixed them for supper and was determined to get it down.......and I did get most of it, but I was so sick for a while after eating it. I tried to eat my fries and my salad, and got a little bit down, but just couldn't get it all down......OH YEA, isn't that why I had this surgery?????? So I would know when enough was enough!!!

Cooler Weather Making Me Nervous!

This cooler weather is starting to make me nervous. I typically eat more in the winter and find it difficult not to snack. I have been fighting the "snack attacks" since Sunday afternoon. Sunday I wanted to eat all day!!! I snacked on caramel popcorn and some other kind of popcorn Michael had. Yesterday and today I have snacked on Tostito chips in the afternoon when I've come home from work. Oh....did I mention I had the chips with cheese sauce today???? This is a just a simple reminder to myself that this battle is no where near to being over!!! I sure hope it's not too long of a winter!

Thursday, September 23, 2010

I know it's been several days since I updated my blog, but I've had a good week. I have now lost 96 lbs, and in just four more pounds I will be able to say "I've lost 100 lbs."! I can't believe I am so close! I am now at 229 lbs, and just 30 lbs away from "Onederland"! Yes, I am getting excited! I've been on vacation this week and done a lot of house work, and I went Tuesday night and shared my story with the Bluegrass Bariatric Seminar. I really enjoy sharing my story and I was a little nervous, but would do it again in a heartbeat. The closer I get to losing 100 lbs, the more I think about Mom. I know she is rejoicing with me in this victory. I wish she were here to share it with me. I know that my generation is so much more blessed by the advances of modern medicine than her's, and while I'm so thankful that I have this opportunity, my heart really wishes she had had this same opportunity. I feel her presence cheering me on!

September 14, 2010

Well, I am now down 92 lbs. I ate some left over home made ice cream Saturday afternoon and then went to the grocery store. About 1/3 of the way through the store I had to go to the bathroom, I got in there and I got SOOOOOOO.................SICK!!!!! I got all flushed and hot in head, started sweating, nauseas and for a while thought I was going to pass out. After about 10 minutes or so it passed and I was fine. Sure was glad I only had a little bit. I had eaten it the day of Michael's birthday and it didn't do that to me, so I was taken by surprise. Clearly there is still a lot to learn about my little pouch! I am going on 9/21 to the seminar for Bluegrass Bariatrics at CBH to tell my story, hope I don't get scared and freeze up!

91 POUNDS LOST!!!!

I have now lost 91 lbs.....how awesome is that????? Nine more pounds to go to lose 100, 35 to go till I fall below 200, 64 lbs till I reach the goal the doctor has set for me, and 79 lbs till I reach the goal I have set for myself!!!! I think I'm doing great!

The Day After Michael's Birthday!

Well, yesterday I learned some new things about myself. I made Meatloaf, broccoli casserole, potato casserole, green beans and macaroni and cheese. When I finished filling my plate I looked at it and realized that I had put "huge" amounts of food on my plate. I knew there was no way I could eat all that food. I ate more of it than I should have though and I realized that my head still wants to control me! Later we had cake and homemade ice cream and I ate both of them. I didn't dump, I don't think, however I noticed I was soooo.........tired, I just wanted to go to sleep. I realized yesterday that my surgery is only a tool and the success of this tool is still up to me and five months does not automatically fix the 20 years of damage I've done to myself. Still a daily learning process!

Saturday, September 4th

It's been an exhausting week! Dianne had her surgery Wednesday, and she's had a few complications, so it's kind of been like grand central station around here. ANYWAY.....I have now lost 89 lbs. I've had so many people this week tell me that I look good, and it really makes me FEEL good. Tomorrow is Michael's birthday and I'm making two different kinds of homemade ice cream and I'm baking a cake. Cake and ice cream........my two favorite things to eat! Hope I can get through the day w/out overdoing it!

Sunday, August 29th

It's been a busy week, and I've lost another pound putting me at 84 lbs. lost now. I picked up a few pieces of clothing at the church yard sale this weekend, and Friday night when I was looking through the clothing rack I kept looking through the "3X" section. Pam Speck walked up and said "aren't those too big for you?" I said "yes, but my head can't stop looking at them." I still find myself drawn to those bigger sizes. Lynn had given me a coupon for Lane Bryant that expires today, so last night I went in there to see if I could find something. I decided to try on a pair of jeans, and when I did I was so shocked that I actually needed a size 20. I took a size 20 and 22 in the dressing room and was so sure it would be the size 22 I would need. It's exciting to move to smaller sizes, but it's still so weird for me!

I still have 86 lbs to reach my goal and I know it won't come as quickly as this first 85 has come, but my head still has a hard time wrapping itself around the idea that I will continue to lose. Especially now that I've slowed down, I keep thinking I'm going to stop losing or something. Sometimes when I feel like it's just not coming off so fast, I resort back to this blog to help me realize how far I've come. I kind of have mini goals set up in my mind, and each time I reach into a new set of 10's (i.e. 260, 250, 240), my mind wants to think that's where I'll get stuck. I am just two pounds from falling to the 230's, and it seems like I've been working on getting there for so long, but really it hasn't been that long. I still feel so blessed to have this opportunity. Last Sunday I crossed my legs in church for the first time in I don't even know how long, and in the past three weeks I've walked upstairs to my boys rooms more than I have in the past 10 years combined. Surprisingly enough....they like that I'm making visits to their rooms. Brock even had me up in his room last night to watch a movie. Sometimes I think they're too old and don't want to be bothered with me, but I'm beginning to think they might even like me being around. Maybe I will be able to make up for some of those years I missed out by being to too fat to do anything! I told Keith just last night how much I wished my mother had had this opportunity. She truly is my daily inspiration to keep going and every time I lose a pound I think about her and how happy she would if she could see me now! Just like I want nothing but the best for my boys, she always wanted nothing but the best for me.

Friday, August 20, 2010

I am down 83 lbs now! WOO HOO! I went to join the gym this week so I can start working on my flabby areas, primarily my arms. I think my arms could take flight for me right now! Am really having a hard time coming up with some good ideas for lunch. I haven't been having protein shakes much lately, and I think I'm going to try to go back to them for a few weeks. The past four weeks I have been loosing a couple of handfulls of hair every morning when I wash my hair, and then again when I comb it out. I'm getting my protein in, so not sure why that is happening, but it is a side effect of the surgery. I thought I had skipped it, but guess not. This week in particular, I have really not felt like eating anything for supper. I just get so bored trying to come up with things to eat, and then when I decide on something it just doesn't have that "taste" I guess I'm looking for, so it's really a disappointment. Today I have had a protein shake for breakfast, a protein bar, and a Wendy's chili w/ cheese and crackers in it. Not sure what supper will be, but planning to have a string cheese soon. I have a lot I need to get done at the house this weekend. The church is having a yard sale next week and I am going to try to gather some things up to take to that, do some yard work, and cleaning. Have a good weekend everyone!

I HIT 80 LBS.!!!!

I hit 80 lbs. lost Saturday and by this morning it was 81!!!! WOO HOO!!!!! I shopped this weekend and got some pants....size 20, I got some tops that were all size 1x or 18/20!!! I also got some bras this weekend and I got a size 44C. I have gone from a 26/28 in pants and tops, and was a size 48D in my bra size.

Friday, August 13th

Well, I am four months post-op now, and I am down 79 lbs! After four months and 79 lbs, I am still learning things about myself and my eating habits. I decided yesterday that I would try to eat a protein bar for breakfast that had 30 gms of protein. I ate it, but it was HUGE and I was miserable! Then, here's where the lesson came in.....I am one of those people who has always had to have something salty to follow something sweet, and visa versa; well, after eating that huge protein bar, I had to have something salty and ended up eating some Cheetos. Needless to say, I didn't think it was worth it!

Saturday, August 7th

I have only lost one pound again this week, so I'm at 77 lbs. Loss is really slow, so I must have hit a plateau, but that's okay. I went to Kohls today and hit the clearance rack and bought my first pair of size 20 pants! I bought 4 shirts that were 1x. I tried on several things, and some of the shirts I need a 2x in depending on the shirt. When I look in the mirror I am not sure I know that person looking back at me. I feel like I am starting to look half way decent, and it's very exciting. I did find a couple of blazers for winter at a yard sale this morning, size 16 from Talbot's. Obviously I can't wear them right now, but for $2 a piece I thought it was a bargain. I told Keith he has to go to work and stay there so I can buy some things. My mother-in-law has taken up several pairs of my pants for me and last week she sent some back she thought would be too small, but they fit perfect. She's having trouble keeping up with me. She's probably thankful I have hit a plateau!

Last night I took Krysta, Brittany and Breanna to the drive-in and usually when I go to the drive-in I love to eat the whole time. I had gotten some sugar free candy to take with me and I ate like four pieces of it, and didn't make me physically sick, but I just felt so awful, I really don't enjoy sweets any more. I had bought some "no sugar added" ice cream last week and for those of you who know me well, you'll be shocked to hear that I still have over half the container still in the freezer. Before surgery I would never have left ice cream in the freezer for more than a couple of days! Ever since the pizza made me sick on vacation, I just really don't enjoy eating pizza either. I really like this "new me". I am not bound by my love for food!

This has been a difficult week and I really had to concentrate hard not to "emotional eat". Some of you have heard that my oldest, best friend Mary was diagnosed with cancer a couple of weeks ago and she learned this week she has it in her lymph nodes as well as her lung. Thank God Mary is a fighter, and I am working very hard on being strong to cheer her on in this fight. Mary has been a cheerleader for me through this and I know I have to not let her down. If Mary can be strong in her fight against her cancer, I surely can be strong in my fight against my gluten! Love you Mary!

Saturday, July 31st

It's been a few days since I posted, its been a rough week. I have lost 1 lb. this week, and that puts me at 76 lbs lost, but most importantly.........it put me below 250!!!! Yes, I weigh 249!!! This past week has been an emotional one, therefore one which I've had to deal with that "head" thing that makes me want to eat because of stress. One evening I was home and I was so emotional that all I wanted to do was find something to eat. I kept trying to remind myself that food would not solve the issues at hand. To be honest with you it was such an emotional week that I honestly don't remember if I ate during that time or not. I do know that if I did, it was at least a good choice. I think I have made it to that place where I don't want to sabotage what I've already done. It is becoming easier to make good choices when I have the urge to "just eat".

I decided to look for a part-time job to help give me money to buy new clothes with, so I had filled out an application at Catherine's, the shop for "big women". This week they had me in on Monday for an interview and on Thursday they did a phone interview. I think I screwed it up Thursday when the district manager interviewed me and asked me what I would do if I was at the end of month and my quota for credit applications hadn't been met. I told her that "I might try harder to remember to ask the customer, however I have to be honest that I would respect the customer when they told me no and not push because I don't personally believe credit cards are a good thing". After the interview she told me they were looking to hire in the fall season, which is not the impression I had gotten previously, so I think she didn't like my answer. That's okay though because when I came home and told my family about it, Michael told me he was proud of me for being honest and standing up for what I believed. Having him say that to me was so much more fulfilling than "earning points" for a credit application.

I'm praying for a better week this next week! Have a good one everyone!

75 lbs. Gone Today!!!

As of today I am down 75 lbs., and I couldn't think of a better day to post new pictures. Go me!!! Wouldn't Mama be proud??? I went into Cato's today and I tried on size 22 pants, about six pairs, and all six of them fit perfect! I clearly can't remember the last time I could wear a size 22. I applied for a part-time job at Catherine's a couple of weeks ago, and they called me today to see if I was interested. I'm definitely going to be needing clothes VERY SOON, and I'm thinking I might ought to take the job at least for a few months. I don't know!!!

New Pictures

Friday, July 23rd

I haven't lost anymore weight this week, but that's okay, I'm cool with it. I did go into Kohls today though and was looking through the clearance racks. I didn't try anything on, but soon I will be needing to make a few purchases to get me through. In looking I did find this one top that was a 1X and I really liked it, but it wasn't clearanced enough yet for me to justify buying it. What I noticed was that I kept wanting to go through the 3X's and look at those. It was like my mind just couldn't look through and pass up the larger sizes. My head is still so wrapped up in buying the larger sizes and I even found myself thinking "I don't want to get something too tight, and not end up being able to wear it". It's like while my mind knows I will continue to lose weight, I still can't quite wrap my head around it. I felt like if I had tried something on today I probably would have tried to make sure it fit comfortably, and would have been afraid of buying something that might still be a little snug. I'm not sure if any of this makes sense, but I'm trying to explain it. I did eat some french fries today from Wendy's and I felt really bad about it. Now mind you, I only ate a few, but my again "my head", still thinks I'm going to gain weight if I eat something I shouldn't. While I know I do have to be careful with the carbs, I don't think I'm eating enough carbs that they could possibly do much harm for me. Still so much to learn about my thoughts about food and buying clothes.

97 POUNDS TO GO!!!

Ninety-seven pounds to go!!! Less than 100 lbs. to lose!!! It has been literally years since I needed to lose less than 100 lbs. My total loss now is 73 lbs. I am beginning to feel good about myself. I'm happy too that so far it looks like my skin is holding up pretty well. So far it looks like my belly and my arms are going to end being my biggest problem areas with skin. I went to see a movie Saturday at the dollar movies and I wasn't miserable sitting in the seats for the first time since I can remember. I am in my smallest clothes and they are starting to get big, so not too much longer till I'll need to go shopping. I'm hoping my mother-in-law will be able to take up some of my pants. She had taken up two pairs of my capris before my vacation and they are already too big again.

Three Month Check Up

I had my three month check up yesterday with the bariatric doctor and my six month check up today with my primary care doctor. Both were very pleased with my progress and said I am doing great! My primary care doctor told me he would give me an A+ on my visit today. He told me that he has a few other bariatric patients, but I am doing the best as far as weight loss of all them. Go me! He decreased my blood pressure medicine and I have cut out about three of my other medications.

Today is a bittersweet day for me. Although I am thrilled with my progress and my visits, it was twenty years ago today that I lost my mother. I miss her just as much today as I did twenty years ago today. She was the wind beneath my wings and I miss her terribly! I look so forward to the day I see her sweet face again, and I know today she is smiling down on me and happy for me.

100 lbs. to Go to Reach My Goal!!!!!

This is an exciting day for me, I have now lost 70 lbs, and as of today I now have 100 lbs. to go to reach my goal! The Bariatric doctor's goal for me is 170, however my personal goal is 155. My smallest clothes are all starting to get bigger on me and soon I'll have to have more clothes. I had thought I would last till fall, but I don't think so. Last night I was reminded of how my thoughts toward food have changed. I decided I wanted new potatoes and green beans. So, while they were on the stove cooking I went to my computer and was doing some things, and the next thing I knew Michael was saying "what's burning?", I had completely forgotten I had put them on! First of all I should have set the timer, but I told Keith that they will have to help me in the future because I don't think about food constantly and I can easily get sidetracked.

This will be a difficult week for me, as this week will be 20 years since I lost the best friend I have ever in my life had, my mother. She was the most loving example of what a mother should be and for that I thank her, and I thank God for the privilege of allowing her to be mine!

Friday, July 9th

Well, as of today I am down 68 lbs. That is so hard for me to believe. I now weigh less than 260 lbs., and to be honest I can't remember the last time I weighed less than 260. The last time I remember weighing around 260 was about 14-15 years ago. Seems like this week my loss has been a little faster than in recent weeks. I am reminded that this procedure is just a tool, as last weekend I had some homemade ice cream and I can't lie.....I LOVED IT! I did dump on it just a little, but I found myself eating quite a bit of it. When our family had our July 4th picnic last week I also ate three different desserts, but they were just "very small" slivers of each and I did fine with them. Oh! I just remembered I also had a piece of Marissa's birthday cake with the ice cream. Looking forward to the weekend!

July 2nd, 2010

Well, it's the weekend and I haven't lost anymore weight this week. Not to be discouraged though.....it seems the weeks I don't have a loss, I lose inches and so it averages out. I did buy two new t-shirts tonight, and got a 2X......EXCITING!!!!! I got a new bra tonight too. My bras are starting to outgrow the rest of me!

65 POUNDS GONE!!!!!

This just keeps getting better all the time! I have now lost 65 lbs.! I noticed this week that I am able to cross my left knee over my right.....can't remember the last time I did that. I can cross the right one over on the left, but not as well yet. A few weeks ago I realized I could actually reach my right foot in the shower to wash the entire foot standing up. After being fat for so long it's amazing the "little" things you forget that you used to be able to do. I've noticed now that I am losing weight and finding I can do so many new things, I am starting to remember why I like being normal sized so much, and why being fat is not all it's cracked up to be. After 20 years of being fat you tend to forget what it was you liked about being thin, and it doesn't seem as important anymore. I am finding myself more thankful everyday that I did this surgery. Thinking of my mom a lot these days, it was 20 years ago yesterday that I had my last visit with actual conversation with her. I remember that night they had brought the lady next to her in the hospital a strawberry shortcake with her dinner, and my mom talked about how good that looked to her. She was diabetic and they wouldn't let her have any, and I remember thinking if I had known it was going to be her last night I would have found a way to have gotten her that strawberry shortcake. She struggled so with her weight and I only wish she had had this opportunity. I remember once during her many times of losing weight with Weight Watchers (only to gain it back), she called me into her room one night and wanted to know what the lump on her hip was. When I felt it I said "Mom that's your pelvic bone". She was so excited, and I so understand that feeling now myself.

Friday, June 25th!

Well, I am now down 63 lbs.! Woo hoo! It's been a tough week because I've had a virus since last Saturday and have not felt well, but thank God I am feeling better now. Every time I have eaten in the last week, until yesterday, my stomach hurt. You would have thought I would have lost some weight this week, but no....guess oddly enough I wasn't eating "enough". I actually had someone tell me earlier this week they didn't know who I was! I suppose that's a good thing. Most of the time I find my relationship with food has changed to it being too much trouble to take the time to eat; and then I have nights like last night when while watching TV my "head" kept telling me I wanted something to eat. I was not hungry at all! I did end up getting some graham crackers.

Sixty Pounds Now!!!

I was down 60 lbs today!!!!! I actually fell below 270 last week while I was on vacation and I honestly cannot remember the last time I weighed less than 270. What I do know is that it has been years! I guess my next big number to fall below will be 200, which I really have a difficult time imagining will ever happen. It has been about 19 years since I was below 200. I am noticing that I am able to eat more now. Last week on vacation for the first time I had a McDonald's cheesburger. I took the top of the bun off and ate the rest, I ate slow and got it down just fine. This morning I didn't have milk to make a protein shake, so I fixed an egg w/ cheese on that new "thin" bread, and I actually ate the entire sandwhich. It took me about 25 minutes, but I did get it all down.

Back From Vacation

The beach was amazing! So thankful to have had the opportunity to go, and thankful still yet that I actually went on vacation and "lost" 5 lbs. I am now down 58 lbs. Just another example of how my relationship with food is changing. Usually when I'm on vacation I think a lot about eating whatever I want, no diet; however this vacation I was able to focus on the scenery and getting out and doing things. Food was not top on my list of things to do. The beach, the pool, and enjoying time with old friends were the highlights of my vacation. I did have sugar free ice cream three times while I was gone and it was good, but I only had about one scoop on a cone each time. I felt amazing and was able to actually relax most of the time. I enjoyed every moment of it, just wish it could have lasted a little longer. I could so move to the beach!

New Pictures

Graduation Day!

Wow! Brock and I both finally made it.....he graduated! He has had so many obstacles to overcome that I am so very proud of him. For him getting through school has been a lot like me trying to get rid of this weight.........had to take drastic measures to get it done. He is doing so well now though, and has such a bright future ahead of him. I must admit that tonight I had to have a couple of bites of his graduation cake. So far it hasn't done anything to me, and I'm not sure that's a good thing! Granted they were small bites because I was somewhat afraid, but I still ate it. I have been up since 4:00 a.m. working on getting things ready for the party tonight, and it went off without a hitch. However, right now I am simply exhausted. We took pictures and Michael came and told me I had to look at them because I was actually smaller than him, Keith, and Brock.....that's a first! Oh.....I forgot to mention that I have now lost 53 lbs. Vacation next week, going to Florida for a much needed rest! Everyone have a good week and I will post when I get back!

Wednesday, June 2nd

I am at 51 lbs now. I actually ate a whole cheeseburger last night, ketchup, mustard and mayo, pickles, no bun, and I had about 6 Pringles. I can't believe the energy that I have, I am beginning to feel like the Engergizer Bunny. I think it's due more to the fact that I'm not eating any sugar and very few carbs than the weight loss. It's a good thing! Yesterday, I looked in the mirror and really noticed a difference. I don't quite understand how the body works like that; that I've only lost 4 lbs in the last week, but all of a sudden yesterday, it was like I could all of sudden "see it". Maybe everything is settling. I'm just feeling so blessed and thankful that I finally had the courage to have the surgery. I still look at soft drinks and think "ohhhh....I would just love to have that", but I know it certainly would not be worth the suffering, so it's pretty easy to resist. Just two more days till Brock's graduation and party, YES!!! We have our party here on Friday with Marissa, and then Saturday night we have a party with Lauren and Matthew for my family. After that we are leaving for Florida for vacation, and I can't wait! I so need a vacation.

FIFTY POUNDS DOWN!!!!!

I hit 50 lbs lost today, woo hoo....go me!!!!! This is an exciting day. We have been working this past week on the yard getting it cleaned up for Brock's graduation party Friday. What an exciting day that will be. I have been waiting for that day for so long, and since first grade I have said "this child will graduate and will become a decent human being if it kills me!" Wow! I think I made it and I'm not dead! Last night we had Dianne and Linda over for burgers and dogs on the grill. It was really good, but I sure do miss being able to have a burger with a bun and all the fixins'. The only thing missing is the bun and I could have part of it, but I would sure pay for it later, so it's not worth it.

Got a lot to get done this afternoon and tomorrow, gotta finish cleaning the inside just in case of rain Friday. I think for once I am ahead of the game and not feeling stressed!

Tuesday, May 25th

Well, I am at 48 lbs gone now and I've been stuck there for a few days (since Saturday). I had been loosing so rapidly for the past three weeks, and I was hoping that by now I would have made down to 50 lbs, but I am okay where I am. I knew I would have to slow down at some point. I'm sure I'll get started again soon. My mother-in-law asked me last night how I was doing and I was explaining to her that eating is almost a disappointment because "you know how you're hungry and you just can't wait to eat and you feel like you could eat the entire pan of whatever you're fixing, like you just inhale it when it's finished"; she told me "no, I've never felt that way". Well, first of all I was completely shocked that someone has never felt that way, because to me it's just a natural thing.....however, I went on to explain to her that it's disappointing because now when I sit down to eat, number one I have to eat so slow and number two, I can only eat a little bit. No more inhaling. The other night we sat down to eat dinner and the guys had all left the table, and I sat there another 10-15 minutes by myself trying to finish mine. Although Nato is enjoying the fact that I can't eat much, he gets my leftovers!

Arms Getting Smaller! Woo Hoo!

Last night I looked in the mirror and realized my arms are starting to look smaller, woo hoo! I'm loving this! I am now down 46 lbs. I did find some Vitamin D tabs that have 5,000 IU's in them, and I am waiting for them to come in the mail. I've also ordered a new protein supplement......I have just about had enough of Gillian Michael's! It's not bad, but it's the only one I've used for about 8 weeks now and I think it's time to try something different. So far this week I have had a hot dog, hamburger and pizza. Great to have some real food and I have tolerated all of them very well, I just have to remind myself to chew, chew, chew! It's still very weird to me that I can't eat and whole hamburger or hot dog, and it was really weird to only eat a little bit of pizza. I mostly ate just the top and little bit of the crust with the stuffed cheese. I have always been able to polish off half a pizza...no big deal! I'm hoping to get to go to Logan's this weekend and get a chopped steak......yum, yum! I'm sure my head will be disappointed when I have about three bites and have to stop. The biggest problem with eating for me is that by the time I chew it up like I'm supposed to, it gets cold before I get it down.

Wednesday, May 19th

Well, I got my lab results in the mail today from my visit to the doctor last week. My Vitamin D is low and I have to start taking 7000 mg Vitamin D per day for three weeks.......yes.....you read correctly.....7000 mg! I have no idea how I will get that much in per day. I use the chewable Vitamin D's and I will have to chew 7 per day to get that much in. I have no idea if they come in any higher doses, but I will definitely have to look. I have now lost a total of 45 lbs, and am still feeling great! I remember the morning of my surgery and Pastor Jeff prayed over me for "the surgery to be perfect, the recovery to be perfect, and for everything to just go perfect", God certainly heard that prayer because I do feel like everything has gone exactly that way, "perfect". God is so good! I just feel so blessed.

Recent Pictures

First Pictures were taken 3/30/10, others were taken today at 44 lbs gone. Just a little bit of a difference! I do feel better for sure.

Saturday, May 15th

Wow.......43 lbs GONE!!!! I am beginning to really see a difference when I look in the mirror. My "next smaller" clothes are fitting very good now! I was on obesityhelp.com yesterday and reading through the forums and read about "drinking while eating", which is a no, no, and I realized that while I haven't been drinking that much while eating, I also haven't been paying attention to the drinking when it comes to snacks. So....I have been doing some drinking during my snacks. I had chicken for the first time last night and it was WONDERFUL! I am so ready to start eating some meat. I have been busy working on getting Brock's graduation invitations ready to mail this morning, so I'm way behind on my cleaning as well as my food and drinking. I haven't had anything to eat or drink yet and it's 11:45. Makes it kind of tough getting everything in for the rest of the day, so guess I better get started! Have a good Saturday everyone!

One Month Post Op

Forty pounds gone!!!!! I had my one month follow up today and I am doing great! I did get in trouble a little bit because I haven't been using my protein supplements. She said my pouch isn't ready for me to be eating the amount of food I have to eat to get enough protein. She said "you have to be eating all day long", which I am. She said doing that is getting me in the habit of grazing, and it will hurt me later on. Meaning it brings down my chances of keeping the weight off when my stomach can hold more food. Sooooo.......guess I'll have to cool it and drink more shakes. I'm trying to find a good unflavored protein as well to add to my food and drinks. She also told me I need to increase my protein a little. My average has been 65-70 gms per day, and I am supposed to be getting at least 70, so she said I need to increase it a little. Overall, she was happy with my progress. Still very much a learning process!

Monday, May 10th

I'm down 39 lbs today! I know I shouldn't, but I weigh everyday. It's falling off so fast right now that I'm too anxious to wait several days. Weekends are really hard for me to get in all my protein and fluids. I sometimes don't get started till early afternoon and I just can't eat or drink enough in that amount of time. I really need to work harder at getting started earlier. Saturday was hard because I was out running errands most of the day, and then I was spring cleaning my den Saturday evening. We are preparing for Brock's graduation party and I'm working on trying to get the inside and outside work done. I wish I could be guaranteed of no rain that Friday, but since I can't I have to be prepared to have the party inside in case of rain. It's really good though because Lord knows my entire house is a mess and needs to be cleaned desperately. As I look at my house, I realize how badly the entire house needs to updated and redecorated. I am excited about getting this weight off so I will feel like doing some necessary painting and redecorating. Amazing how weight affects every aspect of our lives. I went to my first support group meeting Saturday and learned some new information. I didn't realize that the body can only absorb 25 mg of protein at a time, so when I was having my shakes that were 38 gms, and counting those toward my 70 gms for the day, I was waisting 13 gms, and not meeting my daily requirement. I had egg w/ cheese on toast this morning and it took me an hour to eat it. I heated it up twice before I got finished w/ it. Before surgery my usual breakfast consisted of 2 boiled eggs, two pieces of toast, yogurt and a banana, and I ate in about 10 minutes or less.

Friday, May 7th

Well, I'm down 37 lbs. .....woo hoo! Four years ago I was down to about 15 lbs less than where I am now, and while I knew I had gained 50 lbs; I just didn't realize how much larger I was. Amazing how the head works. I definitely have more clothes to wear now, good thing I decided to hang on to all those clothes I haven't worn in 3 years! Everyday I am adjusting more and more to my new stomach and I am beginning to get to the place where food isn't ALL I think about. Last night my family was eating pizza, oreo cookies and drinking chocolate milk. I can't lie.........I wanted it! However, I just turned my head and watched Survivor, and never thought another thing about it. Now....that's an accomplishment!

Tuesday, May 4th

Three weeks post op and I am feeling really good. Still working on trying to get the protein in without the shakes. So far today I have had cottage cheese and peaches for breakfast, cheese and crackers for lunch, Greek yogurt for afternoon snack and right now I am trying to get down beans and cottage cheese, and I still need to work in 15 more grams of protein. I'm not sure how I will get the rest of the protein in without a shake, but I'm still thinking. With my limits of soft foods, cottage cheese and Greek yogurt have the best bang for my buck as far as protein goes. Cottage cheese has 15 gm of protein per 1/2 C. and Greek yogurt has 16 gm of protein. I am feeling stronger every day and though I've been a little disappointed that I've only lost 17 lbs since surgery, I remind myself that it would take me about 3-4 months of Weight Watchers just to lose 17 lbs. In comparison to that 17 lbs in 3 weeks don't sound bad; and 35 lbs total in 5 weeks definitely isn't bad. I still have that fear in my head that this won't work for me. I'm not sure how long it will take for me to move past that fear, but it's definitely still there. I still find myself getting carried away taking too big of bites and eating too quick. I just feel that God has so richly blessed me with this opportunity and I just can't give Him enough praise for how well I have done. I think about my mother and it really breaks my heart that she never had this opportunity. Lord knows she certainly deserved to have had an opportunity like this.

Whew! I Survived My First Week of Work

Well, I did it! I survived my first week of work. Actually it wasn't that bad. I am holding steady at 34 lbs lost, so I suppose I'm in a little bit of a plateau. I have just about had all the protein shakes I can stand at this point, so I have really been trying to find foods I can eat that have protein. I realized last night just how much "bigger my eyes were than my belly". I decided I needed to eat two pieces of cheese for the protein, so I thought it was the perfect time to have "crackers and cheese". That in itself was okay, but I decided I needed eight crackers and broke each piece of cheese into two pieces and folded them up on my crackers, so I needed four crackers for each slice of cheese. Well........by the time I got to the second half of the FIRST piece of cheese I was slowing wayyyyyy......down! Needless to say there is no way I could have eaten the second piece of cheese with crackers. It's very interesting learning just how "little" I can eat after most of my life being able to "out eat" just about everyone I know. It's definitely a whole new way of thinking!

Two Weeks Post-Op

Wow! I can hardly believe it has already been two weeks since surgery. I went back to work today and did fine. My belly is a little tender, but other than that I am feeling great. As of today my total loss is 34 lbs. I overfilled myself last night and got sick....not fun! Fortunately that hasn't happened too often, but this entire process is definitely a "head transformation". Sometimes when eating in front of the TV or computer, I discover that rather than eating slow and taking small bites, I had been shoveling it in. That's when I get sick! I'm still having a little trouble getting my fluids and protein in, but I'm getting better. It's really kind of funny to me that my "drink of choice" is actually water. Tea is good sometimes, but it's not any better to me than the water is. Those who know me really well, know that's a pretty big thing. A coke sounds good, but I can tell you I have absolutely no desire to drink it, just thinking about the gas it would cause makes me nauseated. I am however, looking forward to my first chicken strip or cheeseburger. I am so ready for meat, but I know my pouch would most likely disagree at this point.

First Follow Up

Today I had my first follow-up with the nurse practitioner. She was very pleased with my recovery and said I was doing great! My total weight loss since March 16th was 30 lbs, and she said I should expect to lose 94 lbs total over the next year. That doesn't mean that's all I will lose, just what is expected within the first year. My belly is healing nicely and is really itching, hard not to scratch. I am still sore around the drain tube area and she told me that was normal and it will take longer for that area to heal, as that's the side most of the work was done on. I would say that the only regret I have is that I should have done it sooner, however I feel like this was God's perfect timing and I am satisfied with where I am. I am so blessed!

One Week Post Op

Wow! I can hardly believe it has been one week already. I am so pleased with my recovery. I have one area on my left side that I'm still having quite a bit of pain from, which happens to be where the drain tube was; but other than that I am not in much pain . As of this morning I had lost a total of 30 lbs. Still having trouble getting all the fluids and protein in, but I think it will be better when I am on a better schedule. Planning to go to bed here soon and hoping to sleep through the night. I have been waking up around 3:30 and not going back to sleep for several hours and then not getting up till after 9:30. If I could sleep all night and get up at a normal time and get myself on a regular schedule, I think I will do better. I go to the doctor Wednesday, and so far no regrets!

Not much of a change yet, but it is a total of 27 lbs lost, and 20 lbs since last picture.

5 Days Post-Op

Wow! What an exciting morning......I weighed after I got out of the shower this morning and I was at 299.8! Keith asked me when the last time I saw a 2 in front of my weight was, and the best I can remember is about a year and a half ago when Brock was in the hospital. The protein drinks are becoming harder to drink. They told me my tastes would change after surgery and didn't notice that until yesterday, and those drinks are becoming so sweet I can hardly stand the thought of them. I am mixing it with water today, we'll see if that helps. Last two nights I have gotten sick and a strange full feeling after drinking broth. Last night I actually threw up. I'm thinking the problem is I am not sipping enough fluids throughout the day and then at night I try to hurry to get the fluids in, so today I am working on sipping. It's also very difficult for me to sip; I am a gulper. I am so looking forward to Monday when I can add a few more things to diet.

Middle of the Night Four Days Post-Op

All day today I have sat here and watched TV when I wasn't up walking, and ALL DAY I watched the new KFC commercial with the "bunless chicken sandwhich"; it has two pieces of chicken with cheese and two slices of bacon and something else on them. It comes grilled or fried. I was sitting there all day thinking how good that looked. So, earlier this evening I fixed my "dinner" of broth and jello. I grabbed the largest cup in the cupboard for my broth because "since that's all dinner is I need a lot". I did end up drinking the full cup of broth, but I have been almost sick ever since. I'm not really nauseated, but it's this most uncomfortable feeling of being full. It's 1:45 a.m. and I still feel so full. I barely had room to take my evening medications. After eating the whole cup of broth I told Keith that this entire process is going to be an entire change of mindset. Instead of filling up my plate like I am used to, I will have to retrain myself that I don't have to have the "whole" hamburger or the "whole" baked potato. I kept going back to that chicken sandwhich and I realized that IF I did get that chicken sandwhich, it would probably take me about eight days to eat the entire thing. Reading my tool kit today it said not to eat more than 1/4 of an egg at one time in week four. My usual breakfast consists of 2 boiled eggs, 2 slices of toast, followed by a banana and yogurt. I really thought I was having a "decent" breakfast, but as I am realizing just what I am able to eat now, I'll be lucky to get the egg down much less the toast, banana and yogurt. This will certainly be interesting getting my mind retrained and to actually listen to my stomach instead of my mind when filling up my plate. I could so see myself throwing up a lot in the beginning!

Two Days Post-Op

Well I am two days post-op and I feel great considering. My surgeon was very happy with my progress and so am I. I haven't started losing weight yet, in fact I am actually up about 5 lbs, but that's because of the swelling and the gas. The worst part of the progress so far was today when they removed my drain pump before I came home. NOW THAT HURT! Good news is it was only for a few seconds and then it was over. I will have to give myself Lovenox shots for 14 days, and I have to admit I am very nervous about that. I hate shots anyway, but then when I think about having to give them to myself; it's scary for me. Well, I need to get up and take a walk and then sit back down for awhile on my comfortable couch. I will post more sometime in the next few days. Thanks to all of you for your calls, thoughts and prayers.

The Night Before Surgery

Wow! I can't believe that in just 14 hours I will be on the operating table! Iam so excited. I went to do my pre-op today and I suppose it's for real! Right now I would love to have a big cheeseburger, a taco, or just anything with some substance. Today I am on a clear liquid fast, and if I had to admit the truth, I am really not hungry......it's that "head hunger" again. I've had broth, a popsicle, and jello so far today.

I realize that I am taking a risk here, but any surgery is a risk. I have placed myself in God's hands and he knows my needs and desires; and IF by some chance he chooses to take me home with him through this, I still win. I would be so excited to see my Savior face to face, and to get to see my mother again would so awesome too. More than anything in this world I want both my sons to come back to God, and if He so chooses to use this situation to get them there...then so be it. I am not saying this because I am expecting anything to go wrong, but to help others understand that I AM OKAY NO MATTER WHAT!

Thanks for your thoughts and prayers, and I'll update as soon as I can!

Three Days Before Surgery

Well, here it is three days before surgery and I am starting to get excited. I have to admit that I had to eat two cheeseburgers last night w/ ketchup and mustard on them. Then today at lunch I had a salad that only had lettuce, turkey, ham and eggs in it. I just could not drink another Atkins protein drink. Not that they're just horrible, but after two weeks, my stomach just couldn't do it. As of this morning I am down 17 lbs since 3/16/10. I have got to somehow get through tonight and tomorrow and then on Sunday I'm on clear liquids anyway. Broth sounds pretty good in comparison to an Atkins protein drink right now. I am really going to have to fight with myself not to eat food tonight.

Before Pictures

Here are my before pictures that were taken just two weeks before my surgery. When I saw the surgeon on 3/16/10, I weighed 325. By the time these pictures were taken on 3/23/10 I was down to 318. As of today I have lost 15 lbs since 3/16/10. It's very difficult for me to divulge this information, but as you can see my weight really isn't much of a secret.

Five Days Before Surgery

I am working on learning how to do this blog and exactly how to set it up. Just five days before my surgery and I am getting very excited. My biggest fear of having this surgery is that I won't lose the weight. I have been obese for so long that I truly can't imagine myself thin anymore. That's part of that feeling of being "trapped" that those with obesity feel. It's hard to believe that we will ever be released from the grip that obesity has on us. I started my liquid fast last week and during that first week I learned so much about myself and my relationship with food. I realized that food really does "control me". Remember the commercials with the cookies saying "don't you want me baby" ? Last week all I could think about while working and watching TV at night was FOOD!

My Story

Today is Tuesday, April 6, 2010. I am 6 days away from gastric bypass surgery. My weight has been an issue for almost as long as I can remember. I was born weighing 9 lbs. 3oz., 24 inches long, and from what I am told, I was a very "skinny" baby. I can remember as a young child being thin until I got in second grade. I'm not sure what happened, but during that second grade year I started "ballooning". For the most of my years through school I remained overweight.

In my Sophomore year of high school we had a medical fair one day and when they took my blood pressure it was elevated. My mother took me to see our family doctor, and he informed me that he was not about to put a 15 year old on blood pressure medication when all I needed to do was loose weight. He sat down and told me that my thoughts about food were going to change and he was not putting me on a diet, but he was going to make me change my eating habits. He told me I had to write down everything I ate and bring it back to him in 3 weeks. Much to my surprise when I went back in three weeks I had lost 9 lbs. He continued to see me monthly until I had lost over 40 lbs. For the first time since my childhood I was actually normal sized and I felt wonderful. My self-esteem was restored.

I continued to keep the weight off until I went off to college and even then I only gained 5 lbs. I came home after that year and started eating my mother's wonderful cooking and ended up gaining another 10 lbs. by the time I got married in 1982. I stayed at that weight until I got pregnant with my first son and gained 50 lbs. during my pregnancy. Afterwards I got to within 20 lbs. of my pre-pregnancy weight. I stayed there for over a year and no matter how hard I tried I just couldn't lose those extra 20 lbs. Eventually I gave up and said "to heck with it". I ended up gaining another 50 lbs. When I started talking to my husband about having another baby he refused to let me get pregnant until I lost weight because of my blood pressure. At that time I decided to go to Form U 3, and in four months I had lost over 60 lbs, and was 6 lbs. from my goal weight when I got pregnant with my second son. I again gained 50 lbs., and I got down to within 30 lbs. after giving birth.

However, while I was pregnant with my second son my mother had passed away. Then when my son was three months old my husband got a job where he was working nights and here I was with a newborn, a six year old, no mother and now what seemed like no husband; I would put my children to bed at night and then I would raid the Little Debbie's from the cupboard. I would buy three to four boxes of Little Debbie's every week and I would have a "package" from each box every night. As time went on I continued to gain weight and eventually I reached a place where I would maintain for a while and then each year I would just add another 10 lbs. or so, till I finally reached my highest weight earlier this year. I am now 175 lbs. overweight.

After years of Weight Watchers and fighting the idea of bariatric surgery, I have finally given up and decided to do it. My boys are both adults now and I have finally decided it's time to do something for myself. I have four older sisters that are between 16-23 years older than me and of the four, one has always been able to maintain her weight, while the other three have struggled just like myself. When I look at the three who've struggled like myself, two have had heart attacks, one has had a stroke, and one has diabetes. The one sister who has always maintained her weight gets around great. My mother passed away at the age of 67 with atrial fibulation, which was brought on by her many health problems as a result of her obesity. My mother did not have the opportunity in her lifetime to have gastric bypass, but I am sure if she had had this opportunity she would have taken it. SOOOOO....that being said I am going to proceed with this procedure in memory of my mother and in honor of my children and future grandchildren I hope to be able to spend quality time with.